to face the sea, where flowers bloom

The waters are unusually warm, ripples on the surface playfully filtering light, and Lan Zhan dodges the intermingling shadows of passing fish and ocean life as he swims enthusiastically behind his Niang toward whatever secret location she had in mind.

It’s their one day a month to spend time together, on their own, and Madame Lan has perfected the art of knowing what her boys want to do. His brother, Lan Huan, likes to spend his one day with her creating things- art, music, shelled jewelry. They sing and play, filling the opalescent walls of her home- what she called the ‘Gentian House’- with joy, sound and light as he regales her with stories of the new things that he’s learned during their training.

Lan Zhan is a little different; he’s always been quieter, shyer, yet more curious- he struggles to put it into words, not that he uses those very often. He adores cuddling into her side as he listens to his Niang’s stories, so many exuberant tales of myths, and his secret favorite- the ones that involve the humans. She’s not supposed to tell him these, but after the first time she slipped, he promised that he wouldn’t tell on her- and he meant it; Lans don’t lie, and Lan Zhan even less so.  

Today, she’d given him a strange look, before grasping his hands in her own, perched in front of him on her padded bedding. He noticed that her long, black hair was missing its usual silver adornments; only the blue forehead ribbon remained.

“A-Zhan. Niang has an idea. There’s somewhere that I’d like to go, and I’d like to take you with me- if you can promise not to tell Shufu or anyone else about it.”

“Not even Xiongzhang?”

“Not even A-Huan.”

(Madame Lan’s eyes were wild, though she tried to contain her excitement- if she couldn’t trust Lan Zhan, then this could all go wrong…)

“It has to do with the secret stories- remember those?”

Lan Zhan nodded fervently, intrigued. “I’ll be quiet. I want to go with Niang.”

Cradling his cheek, Madame Lan affectionately pulls their foreheads together before speedily swimming to a side wall where she moved aside a large mirror. Lan Zhan remained obediently silent as she pulled away a secret coral sheet from the wall, exposing the green seaweed floating in the currents. Grabbing her little woven pouch, and a smaller one for him, she grabbed his hand and quickly swam from opening to opening. Lan Zhan follows curiously as she slips them past the Lan Mer guard with ease, already familiar with their movements. Soon, they’ve slipped out of the back wards of the Cloud Recesses, the pristine coral and stone of their home now left behind in lieu of vast white sands and open sea.

“Do you know why your home is called the Cloud Recesses?” she asks him. He ponders for a moment.

“The corals that make up all our homes are white, like the clouds.” It’s a perfectly succinct answer; Shufu would be proud of him.

“Good job! And do you know where the Lan discovered the word for ‘cloud’?”

Lan Zhan shakes his head, and Madame Lan smiles.

“Lan An overheard humans discussing the large, billowing things we see when we leave the water. ‘Clouds’. He thought that his home looked so much like these ‘clouds’ that he named it after them.”

Shufu never taught him that!

“So as much as the Lan want to distance themselves from humanity, there are some beautiful things about it that are entwined with the Mer even now.” She pauses, seeming to think on something as she looks back at their hands.

“A-Zhan, let Niang tell you a new story,” she comments, eyes far off as she swims them toward the shore. “I’ve told you about the humans, yes?” Lan Zhan nods. “There once was a young woman, a human woman. This woman was in love with the sea- was so in love with the idea of a place beautiful like the Cloud Recesses existing, of swimming amongst the currents, of freedom. But humans can’t live under the sea. They can’t breathe, and they have legs, not tails like us.”

Lan Zhan could only barely imagine ‘legs’; in his mind, they were simply split fins, the same color as his- powder blue, scales sparkling in the light.

“Still, this woman sailed the sea, getting as close as she could to the world she longed to be a part of. Little did she know, someone had been following her- it was one of the Mer that she longed to be so much, who himself longed for something else- he longed for the human woman’s love.”

That’s not allowed, Lan Zhan thought. It was one of the GusuLan Mer’s most important rules- not to become involved with humans. This Mer, he was disobeying!

But Niang is not allowed to leave either. Is this also bad? Lan Zhan frowned as the story took a darker turn. The human woman ended up in an altercation with some of the Mer, resulting in the death of the Mer man’s teacher. Instead of allowing her to drown in the sea, the way it ought to have been, the man did something different- he used a forbidden form of cultivation magic to turn the woman into a Mer!

“It was her biggest dream,” she continued, forlorn, “bastardized into something she never could have imagined. Instead of the freedom of the seas she longed for, she was trapped- trapped with a man she did not love, in a world that hated her, only because she was from somewhere different.”

The darkness in her golden eyes weighs them both down as she slows, and Lan Zhan can’t help but whimper. He doesn’t like this story, and by the pressure of his tiny hand on her finger, she realizes it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, A-Zhan. That’s a sad story. Perhaps you were too young to hear it. Don’t dwell on it any further- we’re almost to the next part of our adventure!”

The large swathes of sand and seaweed patches are left behind as they approach shallower waters, more colorful types of corals and shells decorating the seabed. The anemone float in the waves, the different types of fish weaving in and out and all around. His temporary sadness is long forgotten as Lan Zhan takes in the sight- this is a different sort of beauty than his home. Where the Cloud Recesses is ethereal, imperial in the bright blues, whites and grays, this space is filled with all the colors of the rainbow, and he can hardly tell where to start.

“Go ahead, A-Zhan. Feel free to explore. But remember- you can’t take everything back- they’ll ask where you got it. Use discretion, choose what means the most to you.”

While Lan Zhan explores, her story still lingers in the back of his mind. Shufu would be furious if he knew they were out here, especially since they’d discussed humans. Humanity is forbidden from being discussed amongst the GusuLan Mer, who had a unanimous disdain for their ‘disgusting, passionate, untamed emotions’. Still, he can’t help but question it- Niang questions it, and she was the one that he trusted most. Why would she lie?

A small tide pool is filled to the brim with water, soft moss, and seaweed, and he curls onto the comfortable springiness, ready to select which shells he’s going to keep and which ones he’ll leave. They’re all out and in order, when a shadow makes him lift his gaze, and he freezes in horror.

Someone is staring at him.

They can’t be any older than he is, silver-grey eyes wide as he peers into the still water. The child holds a necklace made of green beads, a funny shaped pendant at the end of it, and his purple sleeved arm is out as if he intended to drop it when he saw Lan Zhan sitting in the water. A smile stretches on his face at the same time terror spreads on Lan Zhan’s, and he flinches when the boy seems ready to point him out.

The shout of excitement, the exposure - it never comes.

Instead, something pokes Lan Zhan in the side of the head. He opens his hand to allow the necklace to fall into it. A peace offering. The child winks down at him, his finger coming to his lips- I won’t say anything.

Is this human child… protecting him?

“Wei Ying!” another voice calls, muffled by the water. ‘Wei Ying’ moves away, turning to the voice.

“I’m gifting something to the sea, Jiang Cheng! You’re going to chase away the magic! Stay away!”

‘Jiang Cheng’ must stop- if he were to see Lan Zhan –

-but, he never approaches.

“But you can’t gift Jiejie’s beads to the sea! Especially not the one with her lotus pendant! You jump back in there and get it, or I’m telling her you threw them away!”

Wei Ying puts his hands on his hips indignantly. “She’s the one who told me about the magic! I’m making it so our adventures are always lucky- don’t be a bad luck charm, Jiang Cheng, you fall in the water too much for that!”

“You-”

Before a bewildered Lan Zhan can react, he’s yanked back into the seaweed. Colors flash by his eyes too quickly to focus on, and he’s disoriented as Madame Lan swims away with a death grip at full speed. They are far from the coast when she stops, quickly spinning him around to check for any injuries.

“A-Zhan! A-Zhan are you okay?”

He nods- Wei Ying did not hurt him.

Once she’s ascertained that he’s safe, her concern morphs into fury.

“A-Zhan. What is that in your hand?”

It’s the necklace, with the ‘lotus’ pendant, and it’s his. Pouting, Lan Zhan tries to turn away, pulling from her hands as she tries to take it.

“Lan Zhan. I need you to understand me. You cannot be seen by humans anymore, nor can you be seen with their things so openly. It’s dangerous. The Lan elders have decreed it for generations, and you will be punished!” This is the first time his Niang has ever yelled at him, even if it is out of concern for his welfare, and his golden eyes water.

He doesn’t want to give up the pendant. He doesn’t want to give up his memory of the boy. It’s special- why can’t he have something special? Madame Lan sees his distress, his eyes becoming puffy and his ears reddening, and she sighs fondly, hugging him tightly.

“You have too much of me in you, and I love you so much for it. Listen, A-Zhan. Don’t show Shufu, and make sure you follow all the rules from now on, okay? You must be a good boy, to make up for today.” So no one knows.

Sniffling, Lan Zhan nods. He can accept this- to be a good boy, in return for keep his pendant. Tucking it safely in his bag, he holds Madame Lan’s hand as she swims them back to the Cloud Recesses. He knows just where he’ll put it too- it can be his special memory of Niang, and of Wei Ying.

The adventure to the coast was the first and last time that Lan Zhan- now Lan Wangji- ever escaped the Cloud Recesses in such a dramatic way. Perhaps his Niang simply feared she’d gone too far that day, or the opportunity simply never arose again. He’d tried to push for it, to no avail, but soon the path was completely cut off to him. She passed from illness, followed a few years later by his distant, heartbroken father. It, nor she, had ever been brought up again, and neither likely ever would be. 

Seventeen years later, Lan Wangji is a young man of twenty-two, and one of the pearls of Lan Qiren’s eye. Because his branch of the Lans was descended from Lan An himself, the standards and expectations were that much higher for he and his brother. As such, his Shufu made sure his upbringing had been strict and righteous.

They are considered the pinnacle of GusuLan Mer society; their responsibilities many, ranging from using their precisely managed cultivation for helping and healing their people and the animals of the sea, growing, and tending to the flora and the corals, to administrative tasks such as proper allocation of resources in the Cloud Recesses and the surrounding Mer communities, and teaching the next generation of Lan disciples in proper cultivation.

Lan Huan, now Lan Xichen, has always been the better of the two when it came to overall diplomacy and leadership. After a tsunami upended the Cloud Recesses when they were teenagers, he’d shown his mettle when his quick thinking saved both the people and over half of the ancient texts stored in their library. Since then, people flocked to the elder ‘Jade of Lan’ (named after the beautiful, rare stone discovered and archived by Lan An) for his wisdom and calm, kindly demeanor. His physical fighting abilities were excellent, as well as his wielding of the double tipped spear, and his coral flute playing was just as pleasant as his physical features.

Lan Wangji, on the other hand… his reclusive nature and his stone expression couldn’t be considered inviting. However, his power cannot be denied, and his icy, imperial beauty is known throughout the Cloud Recesses and Gusu. He is master of the coral guqin; his proficiency in musical cultivation is unmatched by any other before him. The music he’s composed or improved upon have been multipurpose, improving the GusuLan Mer’s cultivation as a whole. He is also masterful in wielding the double tipped spear, only matched in his strength by his brother.

Though the GusuLan Mer prided themselves on maintaining peace, all Lan disciples were trained to protect against the occasional resentful sea beast, sea monsters, or even encroaching humans. Many a time have the Twin Jades of Lan showcased their elite abilities when bringing down a demon.

Of course, both men know the 3000 rules, and have had to clean the growing moss off of the great stone wall that showcases them more than once.

Causing noise is prohibited. Do not rush while swimming. Arrogance is forbidden. Do not smile foolishly. Do not say one thing and mean another. Speak meagerly, for too many words only bring harm. Follow the righteous way, don’t take crooked ways. Do not associate with evil. Do not fall to evil. Stay on the righteous path.

Do not tell lies.

This rule in particular pains Lan Wangji – he feels horrible guilt every time he thinks back on his mother’s secret. He tries to balance it out with the rule Do not fail to carry out your promise- surely, he’s following this rule. When Lan Qiren lectures on humans, he is emphatic in these rules: 

Do not interact with humans. Do not get involved in human affairs. Do not risk the safety of the GusuLan.

Lan Wangji technically follows- he doesn’t interact with humans at all. Even on that day, he’d not spoken a word. He never went back to that small pool in the shallows again, never even risked the chance of seeing Wei Ying ever again. But if he follows the occasional human ship, listens to the occasional conversation, and learns about things that happen above the water- well, that is educational in nature, and continuing education is encouraged in the rules!

After a meeting with his Shufu and his brother, Lan Wangji recuses himself. He has learned that if he speaks plainly, offering no excuse, his family is more likely to not to question his choices. This makes things much easier when he slips away with his small bag, out beyond the wards of the Cloud Recesses, and into the darker caverns on the edge of Gusu. After a couple twists and turns, past the schools of fish and the dolphins that hunt in them, he finds himself at the secret loose stone he’s been looking for. Pushing it to the side, he silently slips in.

His Niang’s secret treasure trove had been her last, unintentional gift to him- a secret journal found inside the Gentian House before his father had the stones and mother-of-pearl inlays forming the home, and everything inside, destroyed. He hates that he can’t share it with his brother, but Lan Xichen had never seemed interested in human things the way he had. Lan Wangji wasn’t willing to break his promise and put his mother’s memory at any further risk, let alone Lan Xichen’s position as sect leader. It’s lonely, but at the same time, it’s exciting to have something of his own.

The small opening at the top of the cave allows only a meagre light at this time of day, but it reveals all her prized collection, plus Lan Wangji’s new additions. Mirrors, combs, multi-colored bottles, and jewelry made up the things that he could identify. Everything else was baubles and trinkets that he wasn’t sure how to name. Some of these things were made up of a thick fabric, containing sheets of what looked like attempts at paper- though it was vulnerable to the water, unlike the Cloud Recesses’ vast scrolls, so when he tried to read them, they simply tore or disintegrated in his hands, ink melting off. The bindings that contained the failed papers felt similar to the fabric of the other peculiarly shaped items he’d found- they came in sets of two, he realized, after he found two that matched. He couldn’t say for certain, but he’d seen these pieces of fabric on the cleft legs- legs! - that once hung off of a ship before they fell off. Not their legs, their feet. The man didn’t seem to be panicked, and no blood came from his body, so they must not be essential to the ‘feet’. He’d tried to put them on his caudal fins, flicking them about, but they only fell off. Boring.

His most precious items were set to the side on a special shelf, where the light could hit them just right for viewing. Madame Lan’s bag lay underneath them all, a bright blue fabric where things could rest safely. First was a shining crimson ribbon- the color was so bold, and he’d tied it on top of his forehead ribbon to look in a mirror before flushing the same color and tearing it off. Next, there was a pendant with a strange creature on it- it had large ears (they must be ears, because Lan Wangji can’t find where else they are), and large eyes, whiskers, and two big teeth sticking out. He’s decided to name the creature a ‘land seal’, and it is so odd yet strangely adorable, and it pleases him immensely- he wonders what it’s really called, and what it sounds like. Finally, the green-beaded necklace with the lotus pendant. He still hasn’t seen a ‘lotus’ to this day, but he will never forget this gift to the sea- this gift to him, from the curious boy with the bright silver-grey eyes. He’s caressing it when a shadow passes over the cave. Frowning, he swims up to peek through, and then slips through the hole.

It’s foolish, and he knows it- high above the caverns stands open water, and even though it’s getting dark out, there’s a chance that someone on top of the ship could spot him. The rules demand he slips back into the cave, and back to the Cloud Recesses. Still, something about it calls to him, especially when he pops his head over the surface and hears music and merriment. He leaps from the water next to the ship multiple times until he can catch one of the strange handles on the side, using his famed arm strength to climb up and very carefully peeking his head over the side. A bunch of men dressed in purple are aboard, laughing and singing as they pour jugs of something into their mouths. He hears one laugh louder than the rest, and his heart catches when he sees who it is.

He's dressed in black, hair pulled back in a crimson ribbon just like the one Lan Wangji found, and his mischievous eyes are as inviting as they were seventeen years ago.

“Wei Ying,” he breathes.

“Wei Wuxian, enough with the tales already! We get it!” A scowling man punches him in the arm, and Lan Wangji frowns. Is Wei Ying- Wei Wuxian- in danger? Should he do something? What can he do?

“Oh Jiang Cheng, you’re just upset that my statue is much handsomer than yours!”

“Oh yeah? Well, I got mine first!”

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian seem ready to get into an altercation when another man, dressed in gray and yellow, pushes between them, waving a fan apologetically.

“Wei-xiong, it’s quite handsome! Though, I don’t think I want to come to a party at open sea anymore- couldn’t we have done this on land? I feel sick. I know of a great inn, perfect for parties.”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes, latching an arm around the man. “Nie Huaisang, don’t be such a baby. You don’t like the YunmengJiang navy, you don’t like the QingheNie army, perhaps we’ll throw you into the sky next and see if you like it there- I’ll tell Nie Mingjue of your experience!”

“Aha- no, that’s fine. I’ll stay here, with you. Please don’t tell ge, he’s going to get angry that I’m here already! Anyway, back to the statue! Regale us once again!”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but Wei Wuxian gladly struts over to what Lan Wangji sees is a replicate of him in stone, standing bravely. He dramatically tells the tale of saving Jiang Cheng and the town from whatever group of pirates they’d long suffered, and the people of the town had gifted him with a statue in his honor. The way he tells it leaves Lan Wangji enraptured- he hasn’t heard a story so exciting since his Niang passed away.

His own life seems so dull in comparison.

As Wei Wuxian finishes, there’s a sharp crack of lightning, followed by a rumble of thunder. Everyone on board the ship seems confused; the skies had been gray, but there’d been no expectation of a storm. Now the sky glows an eerie green, black cumulonimbus clouds hanging ominously. The storm becomes as furious as it was sudden, and soon waves are bracketing the ship. Lan Wangji drops from the side, struggling to stay sturdy in the buffeting of the waves that were now lambasting the ship.

He watches from underneath in horror as the lightning strikes the mast of the ship, and it crashes over into the water, dragging the sails with it down to the depths. He only barely swims out of the way, avoiding the splinters of broken mast where he can. Smaller boats are now abandoning the main ship, the people inside trying to grab what they can before leaving. One of the men is injured, and Wei Wuxian is helping him down to Jiang Cheng when yet another gigantic wave almost tips over the entire thing. By the time the wave crests over, the man is in the lifeboat, but Wei Wuxian is missing.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng calls panicked as he looks overboard. “Wei Wuxian! Where are you?”  

Fear coursing through his veins, Lan Wangji dives deeply into the dark water, scanning everywhere he can for a sign of life. It’s a small amount of inky blood that reveals where Wei Wuxian descends, and Lan Wangji is by his side in an instant. Cradling him in his arms, he swims to the undulating surface and begins to pat his back- Wei Wuxian unconsciously hacks up the water but falls limp once more.

Stay alive, Wei Ying- you must stay alive, he frets, squeezing him tightly, holding his head just enough over the water to keep his nose and mouth in the air.

Keeping the other boats just in sight, Lan Wangji does his best to follow, though swimming without his arms makes balance difficult. Strangely, he doesn’t find this too off-putting- right now, all he can think about is getting the shivering man in his arms to safety.

So much for not interacting with humans or getting involved in their affairs.

It takes about an hour to reach shore, the maelstrom calming in the middle of the journey, and Lan Wangji beaches some distance off from the other lifeboats. Pulling himself on shore just enough to make sure Wei Wuxian isn’t recaptured by the waves, Lan Wangji pauses, taking a moment to just… look at him.

Gone were the chubby cheeks of youth, replaced by a sharper jawline, and handsomely high cheekbones. His dark, wavy hair was a mess, the red ribbon intertwined messily and barely hanging on. Even now, pale, cold and injured, he was still so beautiful, and Lan Wangji felt his heart begin to pound feverishly. The small amount of blood from before was coming from a cut on his head, but luckily it wasn’t fatal and would only need a small amount of healing. Raising his hand, Lan Wangji transfers cool energy to the spot. It’s only when he’s finished, the small cut beginning to suture together, that he realizes he’s not been humming a healing song. It’s something completely different; a lilting, yearning melody that he’s been composing in the back of his head, a secret tune that he’d never bothered to write out or play for others.

He pauses in the song when Wei Wuxian’s eyes twitch slightly open, hand weakly reaching toward where the cut lay half-healed. Other voices begin to echo from the distance, and Lan Wangji launches himself back into the water as Wei Wuxian regains awareness.

Beautiful golden eyes to match a beautifully golden voice.

Wei Wuxian is sure of what he saw, is sure that he’s seen those eyes before…

Come back, he whimpers…come back…

He’d been forgiven for his lateness, citing the storm as the reason. After having him checked for injuries, Lan Xichen sends him to rest. That night he dreamt of Wei Wuxian, warm and beautiful, and of how he’d held him in his arms for so long. If he dreams that he cradles him, that Wei Wuxian could breathe underwater and allowed him to do so willingly, no one needs to know.

A couple of days later, when everything seems clear, Lan Wangji sets back out into the open water. Other Lan disciples have already been out to observe the damage, to make sure no wildlife had been injured, with potential human remains to be disdainfully pushed toward shore and away from the Cloud Recesses. Blessedly, there were no casualties of any kind, and so the Lan returned home. Of course, they couldn’t see use in any of the things that sank. Unashamedly, he searched for one thing, and when he found the statue partially buried under the sand, it only took him an hour to unearth it with a large shell and drag it back to the cave. It fit perfectly inside of the hole in the top, and Lan Wangji slowly sets it right in the middle. Wei Wuxian’s face stares boldly back at him, and flushing, Lan Wangji scurries away.

From that day on, whenever he returns to the cave, the statue greets him. Not that he actually speaks to it, he’s obviously more mature than that.

(He was too shy to speak to the statue; he’d attempted one ‘Wei Wuxian’, and the moment the name left his lips he felt heat rise to the tips of his ears.)

However embarrassed he was to speak, he was bold enough to lean on the statue occasionally, humming his new song, or sitting on the knee as he went through his new discoveries. It was just because it was comfortable, he rationalized. It was just a new part of the scenery. He certainly didn’t tie the red ribbon around its forehead one day, for the sake of having matching ribbons- it just made sense for it to be there. The forehead seemed naked without it.

Everyday, Wei Wuxian consumes his thoughts- is he okay? His statue is safe, but is he? Had his head injury healed? Unable to devote his attentions to the real man, he frets over the statue, scrubbing off unwanted detritus, checking for damage in the stone, and making sure that his forehead ribbon was straight and neat.

Finally, Lan Wangji’s frustrations overcome him. Enough of this! He’ll just visit the coast once. He just wants to know if the real man is okay - just to hear his name would be enough, and then he can stop dwelling on it so much. Surely that’s what it is- his worries manifesting on an inanimate object? The sun is low in the sky as he swims toward the shore, giving the unusually familiar moss pads and colorful clusters of anemones a strange appearance.

It’s when he reaches the small tide pool that he realizes- he’s in his secret spot. The ghost of his Niang’s voice whispers warnings, and he shakes his head. The action makes him spot something gleaming from the bottom.

At least five or six shining pendants, bead bracelets, rings, and more are buried in sand at the bottom of the pool. The only reason they were so undeterred was due to the stillness of the water- why are these here? Were these more gifts? Had- had Wei Wuxian come here to drop more silly trinkets into the water?

He’s just picked up a shiny green stone to put in his bag when something jumps into the water, grabbing hold of his arm. Mer are extremely strong, and Lan Wangji is even stronger as an exception- even weaponless, he’s a severe threat. He’s about to perform a death roll and break the skeleton of whatever is holding onto him when he locks eyes with a bewildered Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian’s hair floats all around him, his body completely exposed save for the pants that he’s wearing. Despite the very evident danger, he still won’t let go of Lan Wangji’s arm. Lan Wangji is so shocked that he does nothing when Wei Wuxian swims back up to the surface with him, quickly gasping for air before locking back onto the Mer.

“It’s you! Don’t you know, I’ve dreamt of you so many times since we were little? Jiang Cheng told me I was dreaming the first time, but I’m not wrong- it’s you!”

Wei Wuxian had been looking for him.

He dreamt of him.

“I’m so excited! What’s your name? I’m Wei Wuxian! You can call me Wei Ying. Wait- do you not speak a human language?”

This is bad!

This is dangerous!

I can’t be here!

You can’t do this!

“Not safe,” he murmurs, voice finally releasing. Wei Wuxian’s excited babbling pauses, and he frowns.

“What?”

“Not safe. Can’t be here. Can’t speak with you.”

Lan Wangji turns to leave, but Wei Wuxian still refuses to let go.

“Wait, wait-please! Can I at least know the name of my good luck charm?”

Frozen to his core, Lan Wangji slowly turns back. “What?”

“My good luck charm!” Wei Wuxian flounders before placing his hands around Lan Wangji’s face. “I always make sure to drop a gift for the sea when I’m on a large mission, and then… you saved me. You saved my life that night- I should have died. But you saved me. I know it was you! I saw your eyes!”

The shock of feeling the other man’s warm hands around Lan Wangji’s face is enough to buffet away the fear he’s feeling, and he responds with a weak “Lan Wangji… Lan Zhan.”

Beaming, Wei Wuxian lets him go and swims back to sit on the shore, kicking his legs in the water.

“Lan Wangji… Lan Zhan… You’re so good looking, Lan Zhan! It’s your eyes, they’re so distinct, I’d never forget them! I’ve been leaving gifts for you for so long, hoping you’d come back!”

“Don’t.”

Scowling, Wei Wuxian folds his arms. “Why? I wouldn’t tell on you- I never have! Well, I told my Shijie and my Shidi, but they think I was just telling tales.”

That’s already too many. “Do not interact with humans. Do not get involved in human affairs. Do not risk the safety of the GusuLan.”

“GusuLan?”

Shit! He’s already said too much! “I must go.”

“But I missed you!”

Every honest retort is like a poisoned barb in Lan Wangji’s heart, revealing the truth- he doesn’t want to swim away. He’s already broken the rule by saving Wei Wuxian, and this was going beyond the point of no return. But he doesn’t want to leave. His eyes are mournful as he glances at a disappointed Wei Wuxian.

“We are only strangers.”

“No! I mean, technically yes, but… well, it’s hard to let go when you’ve seen something as majestic as you. And then, seeing you now when you’re all-” he gestures vaguely at Lan Wangji, face burning. “I’m not going to forget. That’s all. But if you’re not allowed to see me, I understand. I swear I won’t endanger you or tell anyone else about you.”

The sadness on Wei Wuxian’s face is unbearable, and Lan Wangji can’t help it when he replies.

“I didn’t forget you either.”

“You didn’t?”

“En.”

“Well, that’s good… Are you going to stay?”

“… a little while.”

They sit quietly for a while, basking in the stolen moment. The sun is slowly disappearing from the sky before Lan Wangji finally asks a question that’s been on his mind for years.

“What is a lotus?”

“Huh?”

“The pendant. Lotus pendant. What is a lotus?”

Recognition widens his eyes as Wei Wuxian understands what he means.

“Oh! It’s a flower! The pendant that I gave you was actually a cross-section of the seed pod- it has seeds inside and you plant them for more lotuses, or you eat them!”

Ah. “What is a gentian?”

“It’s another flower. Bright blue, it doesn’t grow around here, but I’ve been to some places where it does. I can paint you a picture one day. Do you not have flowers?”

So, it was a flower that her home had been named after. Another detail from his Niang’s life… before.

“We have flowers. Just not those.”

When the sun finally falls under the horizon, Lan Wangji pulls away from the shore.

“I must go. They will wonder where I am.”

Wei Wuxian stands, pursing his lips as he thinks.

“Okay- how about this? We should meet here, just before sunset, every three days. That way, no one notices that either of us are leaving so often. And if you come back, I’ll answer every question you have. Promise!” He salutes nervously, giving Lan Wangji a hopeful smile. “What do you say?”

Lan Wangji should say no. He should leave, and never return. He should destroy everything in the cave, statue included, and never acknowledge humanity again. He should repent, copy the rules a thousand times, accept the discipline whip across his back.

But the hope on Wei Wuxian’s face eclipses all of those feelings.

“Okay.”

Wei Wuxian jumps back and forth with glee. “Yes! Thank you, Lan Zhan! I’ll see you in three days!”

“En.”

The sand glows orange with the setting sun the next time Lan Wangji rises above the water, Wei Wuxian already waiting excitedly for him on the sand.

“You’re back! I was worried you wouldn’t come!”

“En.” Lan Wangji almost hadn’t come back. Now that he was going to make more frequent trips, his actions were bound to be more noticeable to the other Lan. As such, he began to make use of his mother’s undiscovered spot, the weak spot in the wards that he managed to maintain with his own spiritual power through time.

“I told my Shijie that I come down to the beach to meditate and to cultivate, and she made Jiang Cheng swear not to follow me. Jiang-shushu is also supportive, and frankly anything that gets him to spend more time with Jiang Cheng and keeps me out of her sight is a win for Madame Yu.”

When Lan Wangji cocks his head, Wei Wuxian laughs. “Right, you don’t know who any of them are.”

He explains that he is a senior disciple of the YunmengJiang sect, with the capital located in Lotus Pier. He is an orphan, just like Lan Wangji, but was raised under the Jiang family banner after Jiang Fengmian, his father’s best friend, found him scrounging for food in the streets after his parents died. While their family home was further inland, surrounded by marshes, Wei Wuxian had no issue taking the time to fly on his sword to reach the sea.

“Sword? Fly? Like the beasts in the air, over the water?” Lan Wangji questions. Grinning, Wei Wuxian stands from the water and pulls out a sharp looking weapon. “You mean the birds? Yes! This is Suibian. My sword.” Hopping onto the sword, he begins to float higher and higher into the air, and Lan Wangji stares in astonishment.

“This is far from the coolest thing I can do on it, too! I’m one of the best flyers and sword wielders of our generation!”

Having shown off enough, he hops off of the sword, sheathes it, and comes back to the water.

“But anyway, the sect’s lands stretch out this far, so we’re a seafaring people. It’s practically second nature for us to be strong swimmers. They all might spot you if I brought you closer, though I would love to show you what Lotus Pier looks like.” He discusses the way the buildings are made (‘wood’, not coral, which comes from the ‘trees’ that surround the beach), the cuisine (they eat meat and ‘soups’, and use ‘spices’ that sound abysmally painful) and the sort of things they do for fun (Wei Wuxian promised that he’d bring him a ‘loquat’ from a stolen basket). It all sounds so curiously wonderful.

When Wei Wuxian asks him for details of his own life, Lan Wangji is less forthcoming. While he so readily trusts this human, he cannot share so easily.

“I am also an orphan. I have an older brother. My home is the Cloud Recesses. There are over 3000 rules dictating our way of life.”

Eyes practically popping out of his head, Wei Wuxian chokes at the ‘3000 rules’.

“Over 3000? Lan Zhan, the ocean is meant for freedom- the waves, the life, the winds! What type of place has thousands of rules? What’s the point of living in the world’s largest playground like that?”

He sounds so much like his Niang that it hurts.

“Self discipline and self control.”

Cringing, Wei Wuxian shrugs. “Sure, okay. Well, if I lived in the Cloud Recesses, I’d probably break so many rules.”

“I do not doubt that.”

“Hey! You weren’t supposed to agree!”

Lan Wangji can’t help but chuckle, missing the soft, wondrous smile that Wei Wuxian gives him in response. Reaching out, he pokes Lan Wangji affectionately in the forehead- specifically on his ribbon, and with a shock, Lan Wangji races backward. Moment forgotten; a panicked Wei Wuxian raises his hands.

“What? What did I do? Did I hurt you?”

It takes a couple moments for Lan Wangji’s heart to stop racing, and then he adjusts the ribbon.

“The forehead ribbon is sacred,” he rasps. “Only to be touched by family and a significant other.”

Wei Wuxian flushes deeply. “I see, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry, I won’t touch it anymore.”

After a few more moments, Lan Wangji calms down enough to swim near Wei Wuxian again, and Wei Wuxian relaxes.

“Do they have wine in the Cloud Recesses? It’s a crushed fruit juice, alcoholic, makes you feel all woozy and warm and fun. I said ‘fun’, so probably not, if there’s 3000 rules.”

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Lan Wangji nods. “Emperor’s Smile is made in Gusu, of our own ‘fruits’.”

“Emperor’s Smile. I like the sound of it! Have you had it?”

“Alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses.”

“Forbidden? See? No fun! You’ll have to bring me some to try.”

Despite everything he’s done, the idea of Lan Wangji, the second Twin Jade of Lan, buying a jar of alcohol in front of prying eyes is somehow almost too horrific to bear.

The next time he comes, he brings the charm with the land seal on it.

“Land seal? This? You’re so adorable. It’s called a ‘bunny’, Lan Zhan. They’re small, cute, hop around, and I like to eat them for lunch sometimes.”

Lan Wangji quickly pulls the charm away, holding it protectively to his heart. Wei Wuxian ate the bunnies? What a monster! The evil cackling following the revelation did not help, and Lan Wangji is anguished enough to leave when Wei Wuxian stops him.

“I’m joking! Okay well I’m not joking, but I promise that I will try to eat them less, just for you. Oh, er-gege, that was such a funny reaction!”

It’s still upsetting, but Lan Wangji is so stunned (and secretly titillated) by er-gege that he accepts the weak placation. They end up discussing cultivation techniques, which turn out not to be so different after all. The GusuLan techniques are deemed ‘rigid, yet righteous’, though Wei Wuxian seems extremely interested in the GusuLan healing techniques.

“My wound healed perfectly, hardly even a scar left,” he ponders. “It’s a shame that techniques so useful are so isolated. A world without war, blessed with the masterful abilities to heal. Humanity could use that.”  

Lan Qiren’s voice comes unbidden into Lan Wangji’s mind; if the humans had unlimited access to these healing abilities, the voice accuses, what would stop them from waging endless war? They would control death if they had the opportunity!

Wei Wuxian seems to sense that this topic makes Lan Wangji uncomfortable (it’s a testament to their budding relationship- only Lan Xichen has ever been able to read Lan Wangji so quickly and confidently) so he quickly stands from the water.

“Want to see some more of my sword skills?” Without waiting for a response, he quickly moves into a sword form, leaping and adding flashes of power to impress Lan Wangji. What he wouldn’t give to show Wei Wuxian his ability with Bichen, to challenge him on an equal playing field. He would love to see how Wei Wuxian managed to dodge his hits, to come within range despite his deadly speed.

If he were human, he would-

Lan Wangji forcefully shoves the thought away. That’s too far. He cannot have that, nor can he wish it. All he can do is watch from the shallow waters as Wei Wuxian performs for him- he can never join him.

It hurts to think about, so he squashes it down deep into his heart.

There is one thing that he’d like to try, if he cannot have that secret desire. It’s a little daring, dangerous if anyone sees them, but he wants to show Wei Wuxian a little of his own world- to share something together, even if it is surface level.

“Wei Ying?” he shyly asks, forcing himself not to fidget. Wei Wuxian pauses in his form, flopping his head to the side in response.

“Yes, Lan Zhan?”

“Would you… like to swim with me? Unfortunately we cannot go far, I fear we might be seen, but-”

He can’t even finish the sentence before Wei Wuxian has tossed off all but his pants and jumped into the water. 

“Take me!” he cries excitedly, gripping onto Lan Wangji’s forearms. Flushing to the tips of his ears, Lan Wangji yanks away his arms and swiftly turns. Wei Wuxian is either completely shameless, or has no idea what he just said; either way, it takes potent thoughts of icy waters, the rules, and the stern face of his Shufu to calm his body.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian makes his way over, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Finally subdued, Lan Wangji reaches for Wei Wuxian’s wrist.

“Tell me when you want to come up for air,” he tells Wei Wuxian, who gives a quick scout’s honor. Seamlessly, Lan Wangji pulls Wei Wuxian beneath the surface, speeding up as he maneuvers through the seaweed. At some point, their hands up end intertwined, leaving Lan Wangji’s heart pounding once more. When they reach the coral beds, he begins to feel a little foolish- Wei Wuxian has grown up swimming in lakes and the ocean; he’s probably seen these sights things already. But when he risks a look to his left, his heart stutters to a stop. Ignoring the corals, Wei Wuxian marvels at Lan Wangji’s tail, watching as it sways back and forth. He brings his legs together to try to mimic the movement, but it only results in him awkwardly flopping around, sinking toward the sand. Frustrated, he taps Lan Wangji’s wrist.

“Ready to surface?” Lan Wangji asks, a little smug when Wei Wuxian jumps at how clear his voice is. He tries to respond, but noisy bubbles erupt from his mouth. When they make it to the surface, Wei Wuxian gasps for air, giving Lan Wangji’s hand a teasing squeeze.

“You laugh at me now, Lan Zhan, but I’m the best swimmer in all of YunmengJiang! A majestic swimmer, even! I can’t help that you’re built for the sea! I’m in your world, now!”

“En. Wei Ying is in my world.” The words are tantalizing on his tongue. If only he could take Wei Wuxian to the Cloud Recesses, show him the beauty of his home… but then again, he’ll never get to see Lotus Pier. They are limited to these sorts of interactions, nothing more. Wei Wuxian floats on the surface, grinning up at the sky.

“Your world is beautiful, Lan Zhan. It’s so expansive, so free!”

He sounds truly inspired, and Lan Wangji wants to encourage him, but nothing comes out. Instead, his Niang comes to mind. Wei Wuxian must sense the change in energy, because he flops back down, grasping Lan Wangji’s hands.

“Take me back down. I want to find a large shell to take back to my Shijie!”

“Okay.”

They search for shells, occasionally finding some crabs still living in them. One pinches Wei Wuxian, causing him to dramatically scream and inhale the seawater. Lan Wangji gets to hold Wei Wuxian close while he hacks out water and gasps for air, and even enjoys the moment a little when Wei Wuxian leans back into his embrace, exhausted from the effort. Finally, when the sun is low in the sky, Wei Wuxian deems that he’s found the one, beholding it under the twilight. Pink and yellow naturally swirl within the handful-sized shell, and it is unblemished. A marvelous gift indeed. Lan Wangji flinches when Wei Wuxian holds it to his ear, nervous for another crab injury.

“I can hear the ocean, Lan Zhan! I’ll give this to Shijie, and we can share it. She can think of home, and I can think of you!”

Both men sheepishly turn away from each other upon his words, Wei Wuxian ruffling his wet hair before checking the sky once more.

“I should get home,” he comments, voice low.

“En.” Without question, Lan Wangji takes his wrist and powers him back to shore, finding their small pool where Wei Wuxian’s clothes and sword are. Once he’s dressed, Wei Wuxian bows.

“Thank you for today, Lan Zhan! I had so much fun! Thank you for trusting me. We should do this again!”

When Lan Wangji agrees, Wei Wuxian lights up. He comes a little closer, almost as if he wants to say something else… and then he backs away.

“Wei Yi-”

“See you in three days!”

The last time Lan Wangji sees Wei Wuxian, a certain finality hangs in the air around them. It had been a few weeks, and despite arriving at the pool at sunset every three days, Wei Wuxian had never come. At first, he’d been insulted, then angry, finally settling upon fear when he had not seen him. Upon his return, he notices two things. First, he walks- his sword is nowhere to be found. Second, Wei Wuxian’s head hangs low, his eyes dark as he drops to the sand, not even bothering to remove any of his clothing to avoid getting it wet.

“Wei Ying?” he asks, concerned, once it’s clear Wei Wuxian’s mind is far away, the silence carrying.

Where have you been? Why do you look so sad? What’s wrong?

I’ve missed you.

“Hm? Oh, I’m sorry Lan Zhan. I’m just… I’m tired, is all.”

“You should rest.” He would hate to waste this time, but if Wei Wuxian were tired, surely, he shouldn’t expend spiritual energy.

Sniffling, Wei Wuxian leans his head back. “No, not physically tired, mentally. Madame Yu felt the need to chastise me again, to put it lightly.” He begins to disrobe, revealing a painfully red, sun-shaped brand on his chest. Unintentionally, Lan Wangji hisses, and Wei Wuxian flinches. Before he can hide it, Lan Wangji grabs his hand, hauling himself onto the shore. It’s the closest they’ve been since the day Lan Wangji saved his life, and Wei Wuxian takes the moment to observe the sparkling scales and the muscular tail. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji takes some healing plant from his bag, pressing it onto the still livid wound.

“Ouch! Aha, Lan Zhan… you don’t have to do that,” Wei Wuxian weakly deflects. “Such a pretty tail, so up close!”

Lan Wangji refuses to be distracted. “What happened?”  He follows up quickly with spiritual energy, and while Wei Wuxian relaxes, he shakes his head.

“This feels wonderful, Lan Zhan, and I thank you, but the brand was made with spiritual energy. It will scar over, but it will never go away. It’s okay.”

It is not okay! Despite there being nothing he could have done, Lan Wangji hates that while he waited in this pool, trapped, Wei Wuxian was being harmed in such a way.

“Was it that Madame Yu?”

“No!” His shocked voice almost sounds normal. “She hates me, but she would never do something like this- I don’t think. This is from one of the QishanWen sect.”

When Lan Wangji’s look demands explanation, Wei Wuxian relays everything that had happened while he was missing. The QishanWen sect, largest and most power-hungry of the sects, had issued a summons for an indoctrination- the strongest disciples and heirs had to go to the sect, learn their rules, and were basically at the whims of the second son, Wen Chao.

After a night hunt had gone horribly wrong, Wei Wuxian had been trapped in the depths of a cave with the other sect members, including one girl nicknamed Mianmian. When Wen Chao’s principle lover, Wang Lingjiao, had jealously tried to brand Mianmian in the face, he’d jumped in her path, taking the painful brand himself.

To his shame, Lan Wangji finds himself a little jealous of this ‘Mianmian’, that Wei Wuxian would be willing to risk his safety for her. Then, he quickly lets it go- Wei Wuxian was heroic, and a good man- if a little too self-sacrificial.

“Take care of yourself,” he comments, finally pulling his fingers away from the wound. “No swimming today.”

“But Lan Zhan, I swim after wounds all the time, and this isn’t even new-”

“Not today.”

Wei Wuxian pouts, but then shrugs. “Well, anyway. After that happened, I was cited as ‘starting an insurrection against the QishanWen’, and left trapped in that cave with a gigantic beast for a few days. Luckily, Jiang Cheng came back with Jiang-shushu to save me before I succumbed to my fever and injuries.”

Something about the flightiness in Wei Wuxian’s eyes lets Lan Wangji know that he’s glossing over the full story, but he decides not to question it for now. There was always later when he was less jumpy.

“Anyway, Wen pirates had already been targeting YunmengJiang ships beforehand. Before it was just fun to fight them- it felt like a game, even! But now… the attacks have been increasing. They’ve been monopolizing everything, and the Jin and Nie sects notice it too- yet I caught the blame from Madame Yu for ‘drawing on QishanWen ire’ because, what- I defended a girl’s safety? I stopped Wen Chao from trying to kill me and the other sect disciples? I fight back when they attack us? Even Jin Zixuan did something!” It’s the most frustrated Lan Wangji has ever heard Wei Wuxian sound.  “What else was I supposed to do? They do these things because no one stands up to them!”

Growling, he grabs a rock from the sand and throws it into the distance.

“Something bad is coming, Lan Zhan. I feel it- the Wen clan are too ambitious- this won’t always be the extent of what they do.”

Wei Wuxian’s distress is palpable, and though Lan Wangji outwardly keeps a calm face, inside he is frozen. This is the first time that Wei Wuxian has willingly shown him so vulnerable a side and he wracks his mind with a solution. He hates that he cannot offer the aid of the GusuLan Mer- it is impossible. He hates that cannot offer his own aid- outside of the water, there is nothing he can do. His friend is suffering, and all he can do is watch, and offer some delayed healing.

Most of all, he hates the quick flash of disappointment on Wei Wuxian’s face before it shutters completely, moving to stand.

“Wei Ying-”

“It’ll be okay, Lan Zhan. Maybe I’m just overthinking things. Madame Yu is one of the only people who can get under my skin like that, but I’ll live. I always do. You should get home, before they notice you’re missing. I’m sorry for making you wait; I’ll see you next time, okay?”

Wei Ying, don’t go, Lan Wangji wants to plead. Don’t go to them, don’t go where they’ll hurt you, stay here, where it’s safe. Don’t go…

Instead, he nods. “I will see you.”

With one last melancholic smile, Wei Wuxian begins to walk away, his stride proud yet immensely lonely.

It’s the last time Lan Wangji sees him for months.

An awful smell lingers in the air and in the waters the next time Lan Wangji returns to the pool- a thick smell, soaked in blood and death. Where the clouds were once white, an oppressive gray covers the sky, occasionally letting through a precipitation that Lan Wangji can’t identify- only that it is black, grainy, and it smears residue on his skin. That smell becomes potent in the sea water, mutilated bodies covered in purple garments floating half-decayed into the bay from the direction of Lotus Pier and into the vicinity of the Cloud Recesses.

Lan Xichen sends a group of disciples to scope the inner waters, an action only rarely taken for fear of being spotted by the humans, and they come back with a terrible report- the lands that Lan Wangji knows as Lotus Pier have been destroyed, its residents’ bodies now littering the water. It is as they feared- the humans are engaging in another of their ‘wars’. It breaks Lan Wangji’s heart- the next time they go out on reconnaissance, he begs to join them. Every time, he finds he’s searching for one body in particular- and is shamelessly relieved every time he finds that Wei Wuxian is not amongst the waterlogged dead. If I could only check the land is a thought that runs through his mind on a regular basis, becoming harder and harder to suppress.

For months, the bodies linger in the water as the Lan Mer try to cleanse them and the surrounding areas of their resentment. In the latest three months in particular, there’s been an increase in vengeful sea monsters. However, when a larger than before resentful sea monster arrives directly at the gates of the Cloud Recesses with a horde of dark beasts behind it, the Lan are forced to acknowledge that they’re dealing with something on a previously unforeseen level.

Lan Wangji is at the front lines with his guqin, stunning the beast with precise, well-played notes, allowing Lan Xichen and other disciples to rush in, attempting to slay it with talismans and their spiritually imbued weaponry. To their shock, when the beast rears back in defense, they witness a large, livid set of red characters glowing on its belly. The resentment immediately repels most of the disciples, and Lan Wangji intensifies his playing to counteract the waves of dark energy buffeting them away. It takes hours to bring the largest monster down; Lan Wangji’s fingers are bloody with the effort spent playing the strings. When Lan Xichen finally manages to land the killing blow, the beast ruptures- expelling thick, resentful energy, plus numerous half-digested human bodies.

Despite their exhaustion, the Twin Jades of Lan manage to stay behind and wrap up one of the bodies to take back to Lan Qiren and one of the Lan doctors as evidence. Lan Qiren wrinkles his nose in disgust when Lan Wangji places the body on the mat.

“Why have you brought this back, Wangji?”

Before Lan Wangji can tersely reply, Lan Xichen places a supporting hand on his shoulder.

“Shufu,” he bows before continuing, “Wangji and I noticed something important on the beast today- this talisman- it’s on the bodies that were consumed by the sea monster.”

“It’s only on the red clothed bodies,” Lan Wangji adds. “In the beginning, the bodies were only from Lotus Pier- they did not have these characters on them. But these bodies, the ones clothed in red- they do.” The strange thing is, he feels like he’s seen the insignia before, but he can’t place it.

“Lotus Pier? How do you know these things?”

That’s not the point, Lan Wangji laments impatiently. “Research, Shufu.”

Lan Xichen graciously continues. “The issue here is that of all of the bodies we have collected, cleansed and sent back during this period, the only ones that have had these resentful characters on them have been these bodies. And not only that, but the more that these characters appear, the more dangerous the monsters have become.”

Sniffing in disgust, Lan Qiren turns his head from the corpse.

“Sounds very human to me. With every conflict they learn new and disgusting ways of harming their fellow kind. And now this? Horrific. No Lan could ever aspire to it.”

“But do we not also learn to fight in case of conflict?”

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both turn a baffled look to Lan Wangji, who’d let the words slip out before he could help it.

“Didi-”

“Wangji! We learn to defend ourselves, and that is all! The GusuLan will never join conflict for greed, or other human sentiments! Look at what they’re doing already- practically creating a form of demonic cultivation! Surely you are aware of the consequences of such evil, both on the body, mind and environment!”

Lan Qiren isn’t wrong, but something inside Lan Wangji chafes- he feels useless, like he should be doing more to prevent the injustices from occurring, not just cleaning up after them.

“This pride- this arrogance- of the GusuLan, for doing nothing at all and calling it peace- is it right?” he questions. “Are we right, for never aiding at all?”

Lan Xichen grimaces, trying his best to placate a puce-colored Lan Qiren, but the damage is done.

“Wangji- I will not have your insolence. I did not raise you to think this way, nor have any of the teachings led you on this path. I don’t know where you’ve gained these new ideas, but I will not be tolerating them! You will proceed to the library, where you will write all of the rules out three times, in addition to studying the original teachings of Lan An, for a month!”

Frustrated, but unable to voice why, Lan Wangji only bows to his Shufu and his brother before leaving. He begins his punishment at once, though it doesn’t serve as much of a punishment as Lan Qiren likely intended- he uses the time to re-study the meanings of the rules, as well as to re-analyze Lan An’s words.

When he is not copying, he swims into the forbidden section to do more research- on humanity, on their few interactions with the GusuLan Mer, on shared cultivation techniques, and most dangerously- the myths behind the few humans transformed into Mer and vice versa. He didn’t spend long down there, maybe half an hour at a time, but little by little, he learned more of whatever it was that his mother knew and gathered more evidence of what the Lan could actually do in this conflict.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t much. The GusuLan were dedicated to their position of neutrality; all actions of helping humanity were carried out by a small faction or one individual Mer- all of whom were duly punished. There were a few stories of Mer that left the Cloud Recesses, left Gusu, and never returned- whether they simply traveled the wide, undiscovered seas, or became human, was left unanswered- and in their Lan objectivity, no explanation was offered. Lan Wangji could only be grateful that his people’s desire to learn and record all left these pieces of history at all.

“Wangji?”

Inhaling sharply, Lan Wangji turns to his brother’s voice, rolling up the scroll he was reading. Lan Xichen frowns before moving out of the entryway, allowing Lan Wangji to replace the scroll and leave the forbidden section. They say nothing until they swim back up the pathway back into the main library and sit. It’s the first time that they’ve sat together to speak in three weeks, since the argument with Lan Qiren.

“Xiongzhang. I apologize for not being where I was supposed to be.”

“I accept your apology, Wangji, only- what were you looking for?”

It’s a direct question, and there aren’t many ways he can answer around it. “I have been researching GusuLan history with humans.”

“And this is because you don’t think that we should take such a neutral stance with what’s going on right now?”

“En.”

There is a pause before Lan Xichen sighs. “Is this about Niang, Wangji?”

“En.” The subject of their mother always weighs heavily in Lan Wangji’s heart, but it’s frustrated, silver eyes that linger in his mind every time he closes his own. Eyes that he feels like he’s letting down.

“Our father made his choice, didi, both for himself and for her. Neither of them turned out happy in the end. I’m not sure if humans and Mer are truly meant to interact- even if our intentions are good. At this moment, I cannot answer the question that you asked Shufu that day. As sect leader, I don’t think that it’s fair for me to make that choice for everyone, especially when the values are so engrained in our culture.”

Though he’s unable to hide the disappointment, Lan Wangji accepts Lan Xichen’s tentative response. Understanding, Lan Xichen squeezes Lan Wangji’s hand.

“I miss spending time with you, didi. I feel like I don’t see you as much anymore- when you’re not training or focused on business, you’re out and about. You’ve always been so mature for your age, so distant- I don’t want us to separate further.”

It’s a loving gesture, but it’s also a veiled plea to give up on this new train of thought, to be the newly deemed, honorable ‘Hanguang Jun’ that the Cloud Recesses needed him to be, that Lan Xichen needed by his side. To stay the Twin Jades of Lan. Deep in his heart, Lan Wangji can’t fully agree- but he nods, comforting Lan Xichen. After that day, he stores all his secret notes in the Jingshi and finishes the duration of his punishment without any further interruptions. Upon completion, he apologizes once more to an appeased Lan Qiren, asking if he could better research the dark talismans so that they could better counteract them and defend Gusu.

“That is what I like to hear, Wangji! Good for you- of course!”

It’s on one eerily still night when Lan Wangji finally gets the answers he’s been looking for. It’s the first time he’s been out to his secret cave, taking a break from studying his notes on the talismans, the myths, and the power to counteract the resentment. He’s been teaching these new techniques to the other Lan disciples, who have shown much success in defeating the resentful beasts. It’s enough to keep Lan Qiren off his back, and the day he finally makes it back out to the cavern, it’s to slump against Wei Wuxian’s statue in exhaustion. He hasn’t seen Wei Wuxian in many, blood-saturated months, each day dragging more than the rest with anxiety that he can’t rid himself of, nor share.

It’s the sight of the first ship in a week that makes him leave the cavern, this time armed with both his spear and guqin. If this ship shows any signs of the beings that have been leaving the cursed characters, he will learn today. The sails show the familiar red sun insignia, and suddenly it hits Lan Wangji- he’s seen this before!

QishanWen!

How could he be so foolish? The sign on the back of the robes, on the sails, all matched the brand that he had tried to heal on Wei Wuxian’s chest. Getting closer, he hears maniacal, panicked babbling coming from onboard the ship. When he hauls himself to the side, revulsion almost has him slipping right back down.

There are only a few other silent sailors onboard, all facing away from where a man cowers in a dark cape, shivering in a corner across from Lan Wangji’s view. His hands and face are covered in blood red bandages, as if there’s no skin underneath. He claws desperately at the wall, only deepening the stains wrapped around his fingers. A taller, stern man stands guard over him, trying to pry him away, but the man is inconsolable.

“He already killed JiaoJiao, I can’t be next! I can’t be seen out here, Wen Zhuliu! Toss those lit torches- what if he finds us?”

Ignoring the obvious fact that the insignia is on the sails, Wen Zhuliu patiently entertains the question.

“You think that if we get rid of the torches, he won’t be able to find us?”

The bandaged man nods. “We’ve run so far, for so long. H-he shouldn’t be able to catch us, right?”

“Perhaps.”

“What do you mean, ‘perhaps’?” the bandaged man fumes. “If we haven’t outrun him, why did you stop?”

“You need ointment for your wounds, else you’re dead for certain. We needed to buy that.”

Lan Wangji watches as Wen Zhuliu unbandages the man, revealing gouges and burns so horrific that he’s surprised that the man is even alive at all. When he begins to whimper from the ointment, Wen Zhuliu mildly tries to comfort him.

“Hold your tears. They’ll make the wounds fester and worsen the pain.”

What could this man have done to deserve so awful a fate, Lan Wangji frets. Surely it would be kinder to die?

There’s no more time to think about it when an unusually cold blast of wind extinguishes half of the light on the ship, followed by a wave of the most potent resentment Lan Wangji has ever sensed. Though his core is strong enough to withstand, his spiritual weapons buzzing with energy, it’s clear that the bleeding man Wen Zhuliu treats is unable to. He begins to wail, hysterically screaming Wen Zhuliu’s name.

Lan Wangji drops back into the water, just soon enough, as the darkening sky turns an eerie green, seabirds flying far overhead. A small boat approaches, resentment clouding the lone figure standing on board. Arrows begin to shoot at the figure, uselessly - all attacks are rebuffed by the energy. High pitched, searing flute music comes from the boat once it is within range. Lan Wangji is stunned when a body rises from the boat- the disfigured form of a woman, her body jerking around unnaturally before she jumps, clawing up the side of the boat like a deformed spider crab. Screaming and panic follow her rampage, and bodies frantically fly off the side of the ship. A couple notes from his guqin cleanse the water around them, the rest helping to remove the resentment from their spirits so that they can move on. Once the carnage seems to stop, the lone figure on the boat floats upward, and Lan Wangji waits until they land before climbing back up the side.

The figure is draped in dark robes, long, dark hair hanging down to where his hand rests on his back, holding a dark flute with a jade ornament. The thin, white fingers squeeze the instrument tightly in anticipation. Wen Zhuliu only squared his shoulders, standing in between the dark cultivator in front of him and the cowering man behind him.

“Wen Zhuliu,” the cultivator rasps, and Lan Wangji furrows his brow. How do I know this voice? “All of this, for Wen Chao? For Wen Ruohan? Do you really think you can protect his dog life from me?”

Power flames around Wen Zhuliu’s hand, and he clenches it into a fist. “I’d better die trying.”

He lunges at the dark cultivator, who only raises his flute in an arc, repelling the man away before wrapping around him and lifting him into the air, twisting his arm so many times that the bones inside shatter. Blood drips from Wen Zhuliu’s mouth as he tries to fix his face despite the pain.

“What a loyal Wen dog,” the man laughs, coldly.

“I can’t fail to repay the debt I owe.”

A harsh, vengeful scoff is followed Wen Zhuliu being further strangled, the cultivator playing more notes on the flute to squeeze the life out of him.

“You mean the debt you owe has to be repaid at the expense of innocents?” he hisses, pausing to watch Wen Zhuliu’s eyes bug out of his skull, his skin turning purple. Before he can fall unconscious, the man does one more thing- in insult to injury, he seemingly moves through Wen Zhuliu, so quickly that neither Wen Zhuliu nor Lan Wangji can see what happened until the man lifts up a pulsating, golden sphere- his golden core!

With one final crack, the dark energy snaps Wen Zhuliu’s neck at the same time the man crushes the golden core, and the cultivator turns to Wen Chao. Lan Wangji cannot see what expression the man is making, but from the terror in Wen Chao’s eyes, it’s enough to leave him frozen, especially when the next words leave his mouth.

“Leave me alone, Wei Ying- no, monster!”

No- this can’t be-

Wei Wuxian lifts the flute, leaving Wen Chao screaming when resentment begins to curl from around the ship and tentacles toward his exposed, bloody legs.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmurs, before finding his voice. “Wei Ying! No!” 

Soon the entirety of the ship is covered with the dark energy, forcing Lan Wangji to let go of the side for fear of being enveloped. As he falls back into the water, the terrible sound of the flute reaches a piercingly high frequency, and with it, the ship begins to crumble and collapse into pieces. He has to swim some distance out to avoid all of the sinking flotsam and jetsam, managing just enough presence of mind to try to clear the resentment where he can. By the time he’s finished, he’s returned to the middle of the burning wreckage, where only Wei Wuxian stands atop a large floating piece, facing away from him.

For months, he’s missed Wei Wuxian, searched for him tirelessly every time he could, worried for him, studied for him so that he could support him in any way he can. He could have never dreamt that their reunion would be like this.

“Wei Ying.”

It’s only a whisper, Lan Wangji’s head piercing through the skin of the water almost loud enough to overshadow it. Yet, the silence of the ocean allows Wei Wuxian to turn one silver eye toward him in mild surprise. “Lan Zhan.”

“You’ve been killing all of the QishanWen sailors.”

“Yes.”

“All of the sinister characters on the QishanWen bodies…”

“That was me.”

The nonchalance that he adored so much once now only leaves Lan Wangji quivering with fury.

“Wei Ying… There’s a price to pay for practicing evil. There’s never been an exception.”

Wei Wuxian shrugs one shoulder. “I’ll pay whatever penalty there is.”

“It’s bad for your body and your mind.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

Do you? “Some things are beyond your control!”

“Everything is within my control!” Wei Wuxian snaps, turning a sinister glare his way.

Lan Wangji wishes he could jump out of the water right now, grab Wei Wuxian and slap some sense into him. To bring him back, to wash away the darkness of whatever caused Wei Wuxian to morph into this.

“As for what it does to my mind, it’s none of your business.”

‘None of your business.’

None of my business?!

Even if Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation hadn’t been directly causing the cesspools of resentment, the powerful sea monsters, and the disruption of Lan Wangji’s culture, it would have still been his business. All his worry, all his research, all of the stress that weighed in his heart for this man – how could it be anything but his business? He’d thought they were friends- or, at least, shared something that could be considered trustworthy enough that his words would be heeded.

Either way, it’s pissing Lan Wangji off. “Wei Wuxian!”

“Lan Wangji!” Resentment begins to cloud with Wei Wuxian’s building rage. “Save your lectures! What could be eviler than the Wen clan?”

The hatred in Wei Wuxian’s red eyes simultaneously saddens and terrifies Lan Wangji. Whatever he’s gotten into, it’s dangerous- both for the world, but especially for himself. This darkness, it’s clearly pulled away the man he knew, far beyond his reach, but more importantly, it’s going to kill him. In his panic, Lan Wangji falls back onto a desperate plan.

“Wei Ying, come back to Gusu with me.”

The magic is forbidden, but if Wei Wuxian could calm down enough to lay low for a little while, Lan Wangji could return with the knowledge of how to do it. He could take him back; play him every healing song he could think of until the resentment cleared. Even if his uncle rejected him, even if the GusuLan Mer punished him or banished him, he would do anything to save Wei Wuxian in this moment- all he has to say is yes.

“Gusu?” The surprise is enough to snap Wei Wuxian out of his trance only momentarily before the spite returns. “I see. After all, you always said that the GusuLan were righteous, I’m sure that they would hate my dark powers.”

No, that’s not it! “It’s not to punish you!”

He can keep Wei Wuxian safe- he knows he can! Anything but this, anything but watching the man he cared so much for descending into pain and madness like this.

“What is it then? To ‘mend my ways’? To take my powers? Who do you think you are? I’m not afraid of you or your clan!”

With one final wave of his hand, Wei Wuxian disperses the cloud of resentment, leaving behind nothing but the flames as the last of the darkness ripples away with the waves. They both breathe heavily, Wei Wuxian’s hand on his flute, Lan Wangji poised to grab his spear.

“Wei Wuxian? Is that you? Do you have the bastard’s body?”

They had both been so caught up in the other, that they failed to notice another ship, decorated with the purple seal of the YunmengJiang clan. Based on the familiarity, Lan Wangji is shattered with two more understandings- first, that others have known of Wei Wuxian’s return, and second, they know of his state and have done nothing about it.

And why would he choose Lan Wangji or his help, anyway? He is beheld to his own sect, and Lan Wangji and his sect have no right to truly judge his human actions.  If he were to pick Lan Wangji, he’d have to give up everything else that he loved, and for what? To be trapped, like his mother? Wei Wuxian was right- who did he think he was?

Any remaining hope he had was thoroughly crushed when Wei Wuxian slowly turned away, widening his robes to block Lan Wangji from sight as he looked toward the approaching ship. One could say that he was shielding Lan Wangji from exposure, the way he always had, but instead of offering him a wink or a bright smile, he instead gave a turned back and a cold shoulder.

Biting on his lip to avoid saying anything else, or perhaps burst into tears, a demoralized Lan Wangji dives deep, and doesn’t look back.

Six long months pass.

Lan Wangji is on a reconnaissance mission with a group of Lan disciples, searching for any left-over resources or perhaps hidden bodies that needed to be cleansed and sent on their way. This had been a ruling from Lan Xichen, suggested by their uncle- during the darkest parts of the human war- that there be weekly searches to help keep the waters clean and safe.

Where once gifts to the sea were beads, gems and baubles, bloody bodies now fell under Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s helm- glorious to the humans, sickening to the sea, and devastating to Lan Wangji. He had been among the many ordered to follow, but he made sure to never venture too close again. At first, this was purely from pain. However, when he couldn’t bring himself to destroy the statue of the man he once knew, let alone to see it or anything else in his cave, he realized that he hadn’t given up on Wei Wuxian, and again began to study into cleansing resentment.

The silver lining, if any, was that the war seems to have been long over by the time Lan Wangji takes on this current mission, which has dwindled down to one each month now that the smell of blood no longer permeates the sea.

The other Lan disciples are ready to return, and, in their exhaustion, are pleased when Lan Wangji tells them to start heading back, and that he’ll be right behind them. Once they’re out of sight, he swims closer to shallower waters. It’s the first time in a long time that the sun shines so brightly, and the sand in this area is interesting- instead of the pale white he is long accustomed to, it is as black as Lan Wangji’s hair.

He’s investigating the dark, shining rocks that are buried within particular mounds of sand when a splash hits the water. A small body flails about, panicked, and before he can even think about it, Lan Wangji is rushing to help. The moment he begins to rush over, another body lands in the water to grab the child, and for the first time in a half year, he’s locking eyes with Wei Wuxian. They rise to the surface, Wei Wuxian sputtering as he cradles the crying child in his arms.

“Lan Zhan? What are you doing here? No, that’s a stupid question- you live in the ocean, you can be anywhere. It’s me who’s in the way.”

Lan Wangji is still. He remembers their last interaction, how coldly and hatefully it had ended. Wei Wuxian shows no sign of that madness now, though he does look thinner and paler. The only emotions on his face are concern for the child, and fear of… Lan Wangji?

“Who is pretty-gege?” The child asks, wiping away his tears.

“Aha, A-Yuan, this… this is…” Lan Wangji realizes with a shock - he’s just exposed his existence. Wei Wuxian is not afraid of Lan Wangji, but for Lan Wangji, and this emboldens him to speak.

“Hanguang Jun, Lan Zhan, courtesy name Wangji.”

A-Yuan seems bemused by the long string of names, and Wei Wuxian chuckles quietly. Lan Wangji missed that laugh, though it seems weighed down.

“Hanguang Jun, hm? You must have fought quite the battles for that title, Lan Zhan. I like it for you- it fits!” He turns to the child. “Isn’t this a fun dream, A-Yuan?”

“Wei Ying, don’t lie to him.”

“I’m not lying! I’m making up a fun story! A-Yuan needs to stay within my sight and Lan Zhan’s sight, okay? Happy dream!”

The toddler seems okay with this explanation, and happily bobbles off to pick up shells and play in the dark sand. Wei Wuxian’s eyes follow him fondly, before he sighs and turns back to Lan Wangji.

“What brings you to the edge of Yiling, Lan Zhan? Surely it’s not for me and my son?”

Son? It’s enough to make Lan Wangji choke, and that same bubbly laughter spills from Wei Wuxian’s throat.

“Look at your face! You’ll be even more surprised when you realize I birthed him myself!”

The humor on his face is enough to make Lan Wangji roll his eyes, but he is placated, his heart returning to its rightful place. Not his biological child, then.

“I am here on reconnaissance.” It’s mostly the truth.

“Ah. I understand.”

Before they can continue, A-Yuan comes back with a shiny rock to show them both.

“Xian-gege, pretty-gege, look!! Shiny!”

“Shiny indeed! It’s called obsidian, A-Yuan.”

“Ob-si-dan,” A-Yuan attempts, and Lan Wangji catalogues the name himself. When A-Yuan hands him the obsidian as a ‘gift for pretty-gege’, he puts it in his bag- this is his treasure for the day, his first treasure in a very long time. He takes another look between Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan, and a strange yearning fills his heart.

“Does A-Yuan know how to hold his breath?” he asks. “And see under the water?”

A-Yuan nods excitedly, and Wei Wuxian nervously affirms this, giving Lan Wangji a wide, vulnerable look. Lan Wangji returns the glance- do you trust me? He holds out his arms, and after a brief pause, Wei Wuxian moves A-Yuan closer, allowing A-Yuan to enter the embrace. Lan Wangji swims a little from shore, then looks at him.

“Hold your breath. Tug my arm when you need to come up.” His heart pounds at Wei Wuxian’s resulting gasp.

With that, he dips back under the water, only swimming a little deeper to show A-Yuan more of the hidden obsidian, as well as some of the plant life under the water. A-Yuan seems amazed, grin threatening to split his face, before tugging on his arm. They do this for half an hour - spending handfuls of seconds underwater before coming back to the surface. A few times, Lan Wangji lets him go, letting him kick his feet around and learn to orient himself, even picking up a few things for himself.

By the time they’re finished A-Yuan is exhausted, willingly falling back into Wei Wuxian’s arms for drying and a nap. Wei Wuxian, who’s been watching proudly while reclined on a tree near the water’s edge, runs his fingers through A-Yuan’s wet hair and smiles.

“Thank you for making A-Yuan’s day- you’ve made us both really happy. He’s not naturally a swimmer, you know; none of the Dafan Wen are, but he likes to follow me around, and I just wanted to teach him what I could since we’re on the water so often. Give him something to dream about, you know? It’s been hard. Right now, it’s just me, him, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and the rest of us ‘wanted criminals.”  

“Wanted criminals? Wen? But I thought-”

Shaking his head, Wei Wuxian refuses to let him finish. “Not the same branch. These people… they’re innocent. I suppose it’s easier to see something like that once you get past the revenge and realize, ‘hey maybe being a human weapon is not an ideal existence.” His eyes are far away, recollecting memories of human politics Lan Wangji cannot fathom.

“I knew you were there, Lan Zhan. While Jiang Cheng and I waged war on the seas. Thank you, and… I’m sorry. For all the resentment in the water. I never even bothered to think about how that could affect your people, I was so fixated on my revenge and on ending that stupid war. I know an apology is not nearly enough right now, but unfortunately it is all I have.”

It is not his place to offer acceptance for the entirety of the GusuLan Mer, but it’s enough for Lan Wangji personally, if it means that they can go back to caring for one another.

“Will you tell me what happened? Why were you gone for so long? To make you use that flute, and not carry your sword?”

“It’s a long story that I don’t feel like telling, Lan Zhan. All I can say is that circumstance demanded I create a new form of cultivation, and so I did.”

“Did your brother also go through this circumstance? I heard what happened to Lotus Pier.”

To Lan Wangji’s surprise, Wei Wuxian only scoffs again. Was the relationship with his brother no longer good?

“Jiang Cheng is the sect leader of the YunmengJiang clan now. He is… fine. We don’t see eye to eye on… certain things, and so it was better for me to simply distance myself rather than to put his and my Shijie’s reputations at any further risk.”

If only I could have been by his side, Lan Wangji wonders. I could have done something. Helped somehow.

“You know, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian begins, voice nervous. “With all my tests and research with this power, I might have come up with a way to make you temporarily human. That is, give you legs, for a little while.”

……

Lan Wangji cannot even formulate a thought.

“What?”

“I don’t know if it would work!” Wei Wuxian adds quickly. “Everything with this power has been a test situation. I just remembered one day that I wanted to show you Lotus Pier, and it consumed my mind for a while. I just wish I could have shown you the world when there was still something worth showing you. When I still had something worth showing you.”

Despite it being one of his biggest dreams stated out loud, Lan Wangji is apprehensive about the option. It shows on his face, leaving Wei Wuxian to backpedal.

“Of course, you don’t have to try it! I know that your people don’t support this sort of cultivation. I just wanted you to know that I tried. It’s stupid, I know.”

“That is not it. I worry about Wei Ying’s constitution. This power drains you; I don’t want to do that. I just want to help heal you.”

Groaning, Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “I don’t need healing, Lan Zhan. Enough with that.”

There are few things Lan Wangji fundamentally disagrees with more, but he can hear the tension in Wei Wuxian’s voice and decides to let it go. This new, fragile peace they had was valuable to him, and it’s the most relaxed he’s seen Wei Wuxian in a long time.

“May I at least bring my guqin to play for you? To calm your spirit?”

After a few seconds, Wei Wuxian concedes. “Fine. But the moment you start to bring your 3000 rules into it, I’m out.” A-Yuan begins to twitch, and Wei Wuxian stands. “I’ll need to head back with him. Will I-” he pauses, unsure. “Will A-Yuan and I see you again?”

“Want to see pretty-gege again,” A-Yuan murmurs, still half asleep.

Lan Wangji nods. “Three days.”

A bashful smile breaks out on Wei Wuxian’s face, mirrored sleepily by A-Yuan.

“Bye-bye, pretty-gege!”

“A-Yuan! What about me? What am I if Lan Zhan is ‘pretty-gege’?”

“Hm… poor-gege!”

Wei Wuxian gawks, holding A-Yuan out over the water.

“Poor- this child! Lan Zhan- take him with you, the unfilial thing!” He pretends to drop a squealing A-Yuan into the water, though Lan Wangji’s arms were up to catch him just in case.

“Behave,” Lan Wangji chastises.

“Yeah, A-Yuan!”

“I mean you, Wei Ying.” 

Cackling, Wei Wuxian sweeps away with the child, and once they are out of sight, Lan Wangji dives, rushing to get back to the Cloud Recesses. It’s been hours; his brother and uncle will surely notice that he’s been missing. If they ask, he will just say that he was studying the black sand beaches and the lifeforms in the environment- it is not false.

First, he must control the silly grin on his face.

Three days later, Lan Wangji lingers inside of his cave, reacquainting himself with the surroundings. With dismay, he notices moss and spider crabs covering many of the surfaces, since he hasn’t cleaned the items in so long. Still, that is a later focus- he places the lotus pendant and the bunny charm into his mother’s bag, excited to show A-Yuan some of his own treasures. With a cloth and a sharpened shell, Lan Wangji goes on to perform maintenance on Wei Wuxian’s statue, managing to clean the top half enough to see the bold smile once more. Warmth bubbles in his chest, and he leans his forehead against the statue’s in content.

“See! I told you he was dealing with humans!”

Ice cold panic spears through him, and he flips around to see a triumphant sneer on Su She’s face as he points accusingly at Lan Wangji. Other disciples follow into the cave, ending with a despondent Lan Xichen and an enraged Lan Qiren.

“What do you have to say for yourself, Hanguang Jun?” The sadistic tone reveals how long a jealous Su She has waited for this. It doesn’t take long for Lan Wangji to summon his pride and dignity, squaring his shoulders and looking away.

“You’re not qualified to speak to me.”

While Su She chokes on his own indignation, Lan Wangji finally turns to look his Shufu in the eyes, and refuses to be ashamed.

“So, this is how low we’ve fallen, Wangji? I did not want to believe when I was told that my nephew was not only sympathizing with humans, but collecting their things? Fraternizing with them?”

Had Su She really been waiting, following, plotting this whole time? Had they seen him with Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan? And most importantly, Lan Wangji worried- were they safe?

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Lan Qiren thundered. Normally, Lan Wangji would bow in deference and apologize- that is how their mistakes usually went, followed by the appropriately assigned punishment. But this time… this time Lan Wangji is not sorry, and it would be a lie to say so. So, he stays silent.

“Shufu-” Lan Xichen begins, but even he is unable to say anything else, instead turning to Lan Wangji. “Didi, please, you know the rules. Why?”

When Lan Wangji refuses once more, Lan Qiren’s eyes flash before cooling. “No, Sect Leader, I think that is enough.”

“But-”

“Xichen! I will not have such blatant disrespect in the Cloud Recesses! Not only has he endangered himself, but he has endangered every Mer in Gusu! All for what? Selfishness? A lack of self control? Desire? A human? All things forbidden by the rules which he has chosen to disobey! You know what the rule is- shall you enforce it, or shall you recuse yourself?”

With one more desperate look at Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen’s shoulders drop, but his command is crystal clear.

“Destroy it all. Every item. Wangji, you are ordered to spend the next three years in seclusion, spending that time reflecting upon the rules for your treason.”

It is a light sentence, given the ramifications of Lan Wangji’s actions, but in his heart, his own brother may as well have called for his execution. Blasts of energy come from each Lan disciple, explosions sounding around his ears as every treasure he and his mother ever collected falls as debris around him. He clenches his fists but says nothing, only blessed in that he was able to save three of his most important treasures.

“Move from the stone, Wangji.” Lan Qiren commands, and his heart stutters.

Not him.

Not this.

To Su She’s glee, Lan Wangji’s face contorts with pain as he clings to the statue, the red ribbon catching the notice of every onlooker.

“Is that a ribbon?” Su She mocks. “Are you defiling our traditions with this human- do you love it?”

He doesn’t reply, instead holding even tighter. When Lan Qiren orders the other disciples to remove him, they linger in hesitation- they’ve all had to spar with the mighty Twin Jade of Lan, and none of them are up to par. The only one that moves forward is Lan Xichen, gently prying at Lan Wangji’s fingers.

“Xiongzhang, no,” he whimpers, and though Lan Xichen’s own emotions twist painfully inside of him, he manages to pry Lan Wangji off long enough for Lan Qiren to send one final, pointed blast of energy at the statue. Horrified, he watches from his brother’s embrace as the rock crumbles to the sea floor with the rest of the detritus, nothing remaining.

Silence lingers until a heartbroken sob slips unwittingly from Lan Wangji, and he goes limp in Lan Xichen’s arms. When they swim him back to the Jingshi, the parade is shameful. It is clear that, despite the rule prohibiting gossip, word has spread, and everyone peers at a silent Lan Wangji.

‘Fell in love with a human?’

‘The great Hanguang Jun, brought down to size.’

‘Never thought he’d be capable of love, let alone this.’

‘He could have put us all at risk!’

Once he is forced into the Jingshi, they seal the small home, only to be opened for food and drink. For the next six days, he practices Inedia and does not move from the bed except to cover every opening for light, and to relieve himself. The rules lay on the stone table, unopened and uncared for. Finally, on the sixth day, a small, familiar knock sounds at the door, before it is opened.

“Wangji… Wangji, I brought you something to eat. The disciples said you haven’t taken a single tray of food.” Lan Xichen places the tray down onto the stone table before swimming to the bedside. When he goes to move some stray hairs out of Lan Wangji’s face, Lan Wangji twists away from his touch. Pained, Lan Xichen retrieves the bowl of vegetables.

“Please, didi, you have to eat. Just a little bit, okay?”

After a couple moments, Lan Wangji turns slowly, taking the bowl. When he scoops the food into his mouth, both he and Lan Xichen relax.

“Were those things- were those Niang’s? I recognized her bag on your hip. No, don’t reply, you’re eating. I’m sorry.” Lan Xichen pauses; visibly struggling for words. “I wish you could have told me. Though I am not sure what I could have done, I wish that you could have trusted me enough to tell me. I wish I could have been trustworthy enough to know.”

Though Lan Wangji acknowledges his pain, and is more ready to forgive Lan Xichen than anyone else, he also can’t help but wonder how it would have even been possible to trust him. After all, as Sect Leader, it was his command to destroy the cavern. Between duty and brotherhood, the GusuLan Mer always chose duty- and they were no exception.

Silently, Lan Wangji finishes the bowl of vegetables and hands it to Lan Xichen before laying back in the bed. With one more pained grimace, Lan Xichen leaves the tray behind to retreat outside the confines of the prison. The moment the door seals, Lan Wangji shoots up out of the bed, frantically swimming to find his mother’s bag.

The delivery of the dinner tray was the last time anyone would enter the room until sunrise the next morning. For days, Lan Wangji had seemed despondent, unmoving, and harmless- he expected that no one would be looking for him, expecting him to not stay in this state of isolation. His brother visiting was a sign that the pattern was changing, and he doesn’t have time to readjust. Finally, he straps his guqin onto his back- his spear had been removed from him, an official relieving of duty, a sign of his fall from grace.

As soon as the Cloud Recesses were covered in darkness, Lan Wangji pushes the table stone, exposing the hole from underneath. For a long time, he’d thought himself paranoid, feeling like he’d need an escape route the way his mother had in the Gentian House, but now he can only be grateful that he did this. Slipping underneath the rocks, only pausing to move the stone back, Lan Wangji moves through the tiny sand cavern that leads to the outside of the property.

Now that he knows people like Su She make it a point to watch him, Lan Wangji is even more on guard, pausing even at the tiniest of sounds to check his surroundings. He is sure that his secret hole in the ward has been discovered, and so he tries something even bolder- he swims down the pathway to the end of the Cloud Recesses. Only two disciples stand guard, and it is easy to incapacitate them silently one by one- they never stood a chance.

Finally free, Lan Wangji swims almost blindly in the dark, staying close to the surface for the little bit of light that comes from the tiny sliver of moon that remains in the sky. He travels for a long time, muscle memory propelling him through the water to that tiny stretch of beach that he once found Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan. He wasn’t sure what he’d find, but he decided that he would simply stay around the area until they came back- they had to!

When he pops his head over the surface, checking for any onlookers, Lan Wangji starts. Someone is standing on the beach, sniffling, drinking from a jug… is that-?

“Wei Ying,” he whispers. Stunned, Wei Wuxian drops the jug, spilling the wine.

“Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan is that you? We waited! A-Yuan cried! I was- Where have you been?”

Wei Wuxian is angry when he storms into the water to confront Lan Wangji, so he’s shocked when Lan Wangji vaults himself out of the water, crashing into Wei Wuxian so that he can see him face to face.

“Take me with you.”

Disoriented, Wei Wuxian frowns. “What? Lan Zhan, what are you saying?”

Overflowing with purpose, Lan Wangji speaks with complete gravitas.

“If you cannot come with me, I will come with you. Take me with you, Wei Ying.”

A tempest of dark, suffocating energy engulfs Lan Wangji, his willpower worn to the quick as he tries to focus on anything but the scalding pain. His tail feels like it’s being pried apart, his lungs like they’re going to collapse, and every time red energy sparks from Wei Wuxian’s fingers, his body contorts, lashing despite his attempts at control.

“Lan Zhan, don’t worry, I’ll fix this! I won’t let you die!”

Wei Ying? Wei Ying, what are you doing? What is happening to me?

He’s been lifted by resentful energy to the land and placed inside of a smaller pool of water that smells like blood- beyond this, he doesn’t know what’s going on and he’s petrified. Still, he bites down on his whimpers until one more painful snap of energy forces a cry of agony.

“Lan Zhan!”

His eyes roll back into his head, which falls limp onto the water. His fading mind registers the sound of something fast approaching, followed by a gasp.

“Wei Wuxian- what are you doing- who is this? Is that a tail?”

“I’m trying to help him, Wen Qing, I need your help! I’ll need to stabilize him when it’s finished taking effect- please-”

“When were you going to tell me about this? No, never mind- I know the answer. Like a fool, you weren’t!”

“A-Jie-”

“No, A-Ning! We’re already facing everything else in the world, and now this? Wei Wuxian, what were you thinking? A-Ning, bring me the bandages and that salve I have stored in the green pot in my tent, hurry!”

Before he falls unconscious, a gentle hand cradles his cheek.

“We’ve got you Lan Zhan; you’re going to be okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

His vision is blurry the next time Lan Wangji opens his eyes, but he’s cognizant enough to take in that he’s no longer in the dark cavern, instead surrounded by a light brown covering- the inside of a home. There’s enough light in the room to show pieces of furniture around him.

A human bed? For whatever reason, he chooses to fixate on this one detail, trying to find the energy to lift his arm and touch the item, but when he goes to move, water sloshes out of the deep basin he realizes he is in. This would explain the heaviness, and he stretches his body, noticing his legs are uncomfortably stiff.

Wait-

Legs?!

Mystified, Lan Wangji uses a little core strength to lift one leg out of the water, placing the foot on the edge of the basin. It’s almost intuitive when he stretches a couple toes, reaching out to touch each one. The feeling is strange to him; gone are the iridescent blue scales, replaced with the same texture of skin as his arms, and a small layer of black hair. The water doesn’t slick off of him the way it always did, instead lingering in small drops that he pokes every now and then, feeling the muscle underneath.

“You’re awake!”

Dropping his leg in surprise, Lan Wangji watches Wei Wuxian sweeps in, holding a tray with a bowl of something steaming.

“How are you feeling?” He places the back of his hand on Lan Wangji’s forehead for a second. “You’re still a little warm.”

Lan Wangji will let him think it’s his health. “Heavy,” he comments, and Wei Wuxian giggles.

“That’s what happens when the ocean isn’t supporting your weight.”

“En.”

He points at the bed, and Wei Wuxian nods. “It’s temporary, the only one we have like this because it’s in the doctor’s tent. We were going to put you in it, but then thought it would be a better idea to put you back in some water while we waited to see if the transformation would hold. Luckily, you seem to be fine.”

Lan Wangji is still fixated on the sparse furniture, realizing that most of the items look similar to those underwater, and when he’s done with that, he goes back to joyfully observing his new legs and feet under the water, squeezing at them like a toddler. Wei Wuxian observes him with quiet affection, letting him take everything in, before pushing the tray of food next to him.

“It should be cooled off now. It’s a bone broth, with some vegetables in it. It’s thin, and I’m sorry for that, but we don’t exactly have the rations right now.” He runs a hand through his hair, sheepish. “Wen Qing was ready to kill me when she realized I’d brought another mouth to feed.” 

“Rations?”

“Right. Let me explain.”

Lan Wangji silently eats the warm food- soup, he remembers- while he listens. Wei Wuxian explains that right now, the group of people he is with are very short on resources. They live more like nomads, setting up in a temporary camp while their ship, the Luàn zàng gang, is being repaired.

“The… Burial Mounds?” Lan Wangji questions the dark, looming name, placing the spoon down to better listen.

“Well, the ‘fun’ version is that a good amount of the ship was patched together from the boards and pieces of other shipwrecked and destroyed ships. If any parts can be salvaged, especially from a ship of high quality, we take them.” Defensive, Wei Wuxian’s brow furrows. “It’s considered dishonorable, but what can we do? We’re essentially a poor group of pirates. If they want to attack my ship, and they have the audacity to lose, then we will take what we need to survive and move forward. It helps that they hear that the ‘Yiling Patriarch’ is sailing in his demonic ship; most people will steer clear.”

“Yiling Patriarch?”

Awkwardly clearing his throat, it’s obvious that Wei Wuxian let slip too much. “Aha, yeah. It’s sort of a title that they decided to give me during the war, because of my cultivation techniques. Anyway, eat your soup!”

Lan Wangji frowns, but continues to eat until the bowl is empty. Wei Wuxian elaborates that because they’re constantly on the move, they stick near the coast whenever it’s clear they’ll need provisions, and right now they are in a shadier part of Yiling where there’s not much to show him.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed, Lan Zhan. If I could have showed you Lotus Pier, you’d be so jealous! It’s so beautiful, even if it doesn’t look exactly like how it did when I was growing up. So beautiful…”

His eyes become downcast, and Lan Wangji reaches out a tentative hand, before pulling it away.

“I’ll be happy wherever Wei Ying takes me,” he says instead.  

With a whimper, Wei Wuxian glances over. “Why?” His voice is small.

“Because I’m with Wei Ying.”

It’s the first time he’s ever seen Wei Wuxian flush, his nose twitching as he tries to control the pleasure spreading on his face. Finally, he just stands, picking up the tray with the empty bowl.

“I’ll go get you something to wear!”

“Wei Ying?”

“Yes?”

“Wen Qing- and the others- do they know about me?” Wei Wuxian’s use of ‘we’ reminded him vaguely of the other voices he’d heard, the name ‘Wen Qing’ familiar. Sighing, Wei Wuxian pauses at the front flap.

“Wen Qing and Wen Ning know about you, as well as A-Yuan, but they’re all safe. Wen Qing is a doctor, one of the finest that I’ve ever met or heard of. She’s a genius, so I wasn’t sure how I’d ever hide something like this from her. She’s a good and trustworthy person. I know that more than I know anything, Lan Zhan. As for Wen Ning, he’s a good kid. I… saved his life, to repay many debts to them, and because it was the right thing to do. At least, I tell myself everyday that it was the right thing to do…”

His voice trails off, and he leaves, shaking his head. While he’s gone, Lan Wangji ponders the situation. A small number of people know about him, but Wei Wuxian trusts them, so he’ll have to trust them. The food shortage is the next concerning issue. Though he’s willfully gone without food, or has done so for training, he has never experienced true hunger, and feels like a bad guest. He hadn’t even considered Wei Wuxian’s living situation, and now he’s only burdening him further. He makes it a goal to learn everything he can, quickly, so that he can contribute.

First, he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet- literally. Gripping the edges of the basin, he moves each leg underneath, before placing his hands in the water and pushing up. Proud, he stands still, only wobbling a little bit. Feeling bold, he takes one step out of the basin, and another- Wei Wuxian will be so impressed with him!

A breeze makes him shiver as Wei Wuxian walks in, pausing to speak to someone just outside of the flap. When he turns, his face immediately burns a bright red, his eyes flickering up and down before he turns away, covering his eyes.

“I stood up, Wei Ying.”

“I see!” he squeaks, tossing a towel. “Wipe yourself with that to dry off. But I’m so proud of you Lan Zhan! I’m glad you’re using your new… very nice… legs…” he mumbles.

“Hm?”

“Aha, uh, Lan Zhan, you’re exposed. I brought you some clothes, and Wen Ning is outside so that we could help you put them on, so if you could just… uh…ahem…dry off on your own…”

It’s clear that Wei Wuxian hasn’t thought about the process of putting the clothes on Lan Wangji, and when he looks down, his confusion morphs into horror.

His penis is enlarged and other than covering with his hand, there is nothing he can do. This was never a problem with his tail; the section of areas where genitals lay were covered by a flap of loose, scaleless skin, exposed when necessary. Where is his human skin flap? He pokes and pulls at it, trying to get it to lay flat, or recede into his leg, but nothing is working.

“Wei Ying, is something wrong with my legs? There is no skin flap to cover my pe-”

“I know that!” Wei Wuxian wails. “Stop- oh gods he’s touching it- stop touching it! There’s- there’s no skin flap, Lan Zhan! That’s how it looks. When you put on the underwear, it will go away. Here!” Shuffling quickly through the clothes, Wei Wuxian tosses the undergarments to Lan Wangji, who grabs them midair and looks at them in pained confusion.

“But if I lift both of my legs, I will fall.”

An inhumane shriek tears from Wei Wuxian’s mouth, prompting a soft voice to speak from outside of the tent.

“Wei-gongzi, do you need my help?”

“Wen Ning, you wonderful boy! Yes, come help Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan holds the underwear in front of himself as another man walks in, eyes to the floor. His hair is long and dark, his skin unnaturally pale, with dark lines veining up the side of his neck. Still, his expression is soft and harmless as he walks up to Lan Zhan and bows.

“My name is Wen Ning, courtesy Qionglin.”

“Lan Zhan, courtesy Wangji.”

Wen Ning nods. “May I hold your arm for balance, Lan-gongzi?”

“Lan er-gongzi,” Lan Wangji corrects quietly, before allowing Wen Ning to place cold fingers around his arm, directing him on how to dry off, and put on the undergarments one leg at a time. Once the pants are on, Wei Wuxian relaxes.

“There, see? All better! Thank you, Wen Ning! You’ve helped baby take his first steps!”

Wen Ning is too sweet to contradict the teasing, but when a sharp woman sweeps into the room, holding a cane, she is not.

“Wei Wuxian, are you really so useless that you cannot explain your own anatomy to another man?”

“Wen Qing!”

“A-Jie!”

“No, there are no words! A-Ning, thank you for being so kind to our guest.” She turns to bow to Lan Wangji. “I heard your greeting earlier. I am Wen Qing, A-Ning’s elder sister. How are you feeling?”

Lan Wangji bows in respect. “Well. Learning.”

“Good. You’ll need to. If you have any questions about your legs, or if you think you’re feeling under the weather, let me know. I can explain everything to you, though for treatment… try to be careful in this new body of yours. Your legs seemed to be muscular and proportionate to the rest of you, which is already a step in the right direction- with practice, you should be able to keep up.”

Her efficiency is cool and welcome, and Lan Wangji is grateful for her observations. She turns to Wei Wuxian, who looks on with a sort of sheepish pride in his eyes- it’s clear he adores his friend.

“You! I’m taking A-Ning now; you help your new friend put on his own clothes. Shameful!”

With a nod, Wen Ning follows after his sister, leaving Wei Wuxian to saunter up next to Lan Wangji.

“There’s one thing I don’t like about this, Lan Zhan.”

About me? He’s horrified. “What?”

Wei Wuxian snickers. “You’re taller than me. I never would have thought!”

It’s true; Lan Wangji has about three inches on him, a sight they would never have taken the chance to measure properly beforehand. Wei Wuxian explains that because they’re on the seas, they don’t wear all of the robes and gear of more established cultivators, opting for basic working clothes and boots for more freedom of movement. He himself chooses to wear the dark robe with the flames to distinguish himself in the field and on the seas, or when he goes into town, but otherwise his clothes are simple. His touches are light, grazing over the fabrics, never touching Lan Wangji’s skin.

“You deserve the finest of silk, Lan Zhan. Something of strong and beautiful quality, just like your forehead ribbon.”

With a gasp, Lan Wangji’s hand flies up to his forehead, where the ribbon still lays smoothly.

“Don’t worry; I told Wen Qing that it meant a lot to you, and not to touch it. Unfortunately, to clean you off, I had to wipe around it, so I’m sorry.”

It is so considerate, and Lan Wangji thanks him. After a thorough explanation of each piece, and how they all fit, Lan Wangji is completely dressed. It feels scratchy, constricting, and he feels uncomfortable- how did humans manage to wear these all the time? Even the boots, the things that he’d wanted to understand for so long, were frustrating- he couldn’t see his new feet nor feel the ground!

“You’ll get used to it, Lan Zhan. As much as we’d all like to, you can’t run around naked all day, especially not in front of the women! Even I am not so shameless!”

Societal rules are not an unfamiliar concept, and Lan Wangji is bound by duty and gratitude to follow Wei Wuxian’s words. There’s only one thing left he wants to question.

“Wen Ning… he is not alive.”

Pausing in his ministrations, Wei Wuxian grimaces. “No.”

“How?”

“That’s the golden question, isn’t it?” Sardonically, Wei Wuxian moves to sit on the bed. “He is a fierce corpse, but I managed to bring back his cognition. Despite his reputation as ‘the Ghost General’, Wen Ning is harmless when he’s not under my command. He deserved better, but that was the best I could do for him.”

It’s not a full answer to Lan Wangji’s question, but Wei Wuxian quickly deflects.

“So! What do you want to do first, Lan Zhan? I can take you on the small tour, introduce you to everyone. I know there’s so much you want to learn, too.”

“Where is my guqin?”

“I put it in my tent; it’s safe, Lan Zhan. You’ll be staying with me if that’s all right with you? My tent is a little larger, so there was room to fit another mattress in there once I removed my desk.”

“En.” That is fine, then. “I would like the tour, and then I would like to learn about the land.”

“The land?”

“All of the sects, important names and figures, things of that nature.” In order to stand by Wei Wuxian’s side, he needs to know what he knows- his ignorance from the ocean is no longer a sufficient excuse.

“Sounds awfully boring, Lan Zhan, but okay!”

That afternoon, Wei Wuxian walks Lan Wangji through the Wen refugee camp, introducing him to everyone. Despite his wobbling walk, Lan Wangji keeps his posture upright, his presence every ounce that of the Twin Jade of Lan, and it showed. Most of the people are anxious at first, wondering who the tall, elegant looking man with the shaking cane and slow stride is and what he might want. The only one that seems uncomplicatedly happy to see him is A-Yuan, who charges into his leg squealing.

“Pretty-gege!” he cries. He doesn’t notice Lan Wangji’s almost-fall; only Wei Wuxian bracing him up keeps him from collapsing.

“A-Yuan! Pre- Lan Zhan is not feeling well, you can’t just run into him like this, or he’ll fall!”

Releasing his grip, A-Yuan covers his mouth before bowing shallowly. “I’m sorry!”

“You are forgiven,” Lan Wangji says, giving him a gentle glance.

A-Yuan sticks less than a foot from him at all times as Wei Wuxian continues to show him around, only leaving when Granny Wen scoops him up for a nap. Just as Lan Wangji is beginning to feel tired, Wei Wuxian points at a small pathway between the trees.

“Last place on the tour- my ‘office’! I’ve been using this space for storage, planning, and logistics. Normally it’s in my room on the ship, or in my tent, but it’s been kind of nice to have some stretching room to experiment.”

The metallic smell of the space is familiar, and sure enough, he sees a small pool of water in the back of the small cave.

“Ah, I see you recognize it! This is where I originally brought you when you asked for me to transform you. It was all I had at the moment… sorry about that. But look here!” Grandly gesturing toward a stack of scrolls, Wei Wuxian pulls one down and rolls it out onto a small table that has been set up. “All the wisdom you could want. This here is a map of the major sects, crests included, with small markers of the smaller sects as well. Here, sit!”

He pulls a small chair up, and helps Lan Wangji sit down. The small rest from standing and walking is necessary, though Lan Wangji keeps his exhaustion off of his face. Using his fingers, he traces over each section of land, each border, Wei Wuxian pointing them out to him. QingheNie, LanlingJin, YunmengJiang, QishanWen. Lan Wangji moves his finger to where the ocean lies.

“GusuLan,” he adds quietly, and Wei Wuxian gives him a pitying look before an idea pops into his head. He jumps up, ruffles through some containers, before racing back. To Lan Wangji’s surprise, he plops a jar of ink on the table.

“Paint it! We’ll have the only map in the world that has the GusuLan sect on it, and it’ll be the most accurate!”

Taking the brush, Lan Wangji ruminates before painting his sect’s crest onto the map, satisfied with the neatness.

“What lovely brush skills you have, Lan Zhan. Now it’s perfect!” Pushing next to Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian points toward a marked area in the YunmengJiang sect’s territory. “This is where Lotus Pier is, and if we follow the marshes, they lead to a river here, which travels all the way down to the coast. This is around where I met you! It was quite the flight, but Jiang Cheng and I loved the beach so much, and I lo- I enjoyed seeing you so much, Lan Zhan!”

Before Lan Wangji can confront him, he moves his finger in a north-east direction.

“This is where we are now, in Yiling. Next door to Yunmeng. And Qishan is more inland west from here, toward the mountains. Nevernight, the capital, is this city surrounded by mountains and volcanoes. Scary place. Qishan is where most of the war was fought, though Qinghe- to the west, over here- saw its fair share of battles as well. Sect leader Nie is a general to be feared, for sure- he took down Wen Xu, and eventually Wen Ruohan- with a little help from me. His brother Nie Huaisang is a good friend of mine. Not a warrior’s bone in his body, though with how their cultivation works, I could see why he is averse to the blade.”

As Wei Wuxian thoroughly explains the basics of the war effort, named the Sunshot Campaign, Lan Wangji can’t help but listen, enraptured in a way he has never been for politics of any kind. While he’d always known that Wei Wuxian was sharply intelligent, listening to him discuss all of the pieces in detail is impressive, showing how his friend had been forced into a wizened maturity. He doesn’t realize how long he’s listened to Wei Wuxian speak until they are interrupted by Wen Qing, who looks upon them sternly.

“It’s time to eat. Enough studying.”

The spell seems to break for Wei Wuxian too, who blinks as if he were asleep when she walks back out.

“Has it been that long? Aw, I’m sorry Lan Zhan, I didn’t mean to keep you that long. It must have been boring.”

“Not boring.”

“All that history? In one sitting? Ah, wait. You had to learn all those rules and sit up straight and what not. I’m sure you aren’t bored.” He rolls the map back up, storing back with the rest of the books and scrolls. “Feel free to tell me when you want to come back here to do some reading, or if I’m working on new talismans or inventions, I can send them with Wen Ning.”

“En.”

Slowly but surely, they make their way back to the camp, and Lan Wangji can see the small fires when Wei Wuxian stills.

“Thanks for listening to me today, Lan Zhan. You really could have told me you were tired, or you wanted to pause. I wouldn’t have minded, I’m sure it’s a lot to take in all at once.”

Lan Wangji did not earn his reputation by being a poor listener or learner; his recollection was so sharp that everything read and learned once would not be forgotten. He was an astute student in all ways. But even if he had not been these things, only one thing mattered to him.

“I want to learn from Wei Ying, especially about your culture.”

With a small smile, Wei Wuxian tries to walk away, but Lan Wangji grabs his shoulder.

“No more apologies, Wei Ying.”

“What?”

Bracing himself, Lan Wangji continues. “I don’t want you to think you need to apologize to me, or thank me, for listening to you. I- value that you want to share with me.”

In the time that he’s been speaking, Wei Wuxian’s eyes have widened, pupils dilated as he takes in the kind words. Lan Wangji worries that he’s going to cry, but before he can say anything, Wei Wuxian sniffles.

“Okay, Lan Zhan,” he mumbles. “Let’s go, you giant sap.”

For the next week, Lan Wangji gathers his bearings, working hard to practice his new motor skills. When Wei Wuxian is not helping him get from place to place, Wen Ning kindly helps him, and soon he doesn’t need the cane to reach where he needs to go. Wei Wuxian has called his gait ‘as elegant as he is’, and though he outwardly accepts the praise with little fanfare, inwardly he is pleased that he is mastering the skill. As promised, Lan Wangji gets access to all of the information he can, and he drinks it in, learning the names of places and things that he discusses with a curious Wei Wuxian.

His most important research lies with Wen Qing, whom he quietly shadows in the medical tent as she runs the numbers, catalogues resources, and comes up with remedies in her own research. At first, she had been territorial, unsure of having a stranger around her while she worked, but Lan Wangji was quiet and knew how to stay out of the way. Soon, she was discussing topics of her own with him, and he drank it all in.

“Wei Wuxian mentioned that your sect is masterful in healing,” she begins one day.

“En.”

“Would you be interested in this work I’m doing?”

“What is it?”

She hands him the notebook, and he reads through it, frowning.

“Are these for Wei Ying?”

Nodding, Wen Qing returns to making the salve. “Despite how much he tries to convince us with that goofy smile, his demonic cultivation is not healthy for him to use as much as he does. There have been times where his temperament is low, his pain high, and I worry that the Stygian Tiger Amulet is going to overwhelm him.”

“Stygian Tiger Amulet?” This is the first Lan Wangji has heard of it, and Wen Qing turns.

“He hasn’t told you?” He responds with a head shake, and Wen Qing groans in frustration. “Haven’t you wondered why he’s been traveling with the group of people that share the same surname as his mortal enemies?”

A visceral image of Wen Chao flashes before his eyes, and Lan Wangji looks away.

“I trusted that Wei Ying would not bring me somewhere he didn’t deem safe.”

“Well. I won’t tell you the things that occurred before. Those are his secrets to tell.” Despite the hint of discomfort in her voice, she continues. “All I know is that he created the Stygian Tiger Amulet to raise and control the dead, using an undead army plus the Nie, Jiang and Jin armies to destroy Wen Ruohan at Nevernight. The sects, especially the Jin, were interested in it after that battle. Then, when I asked him to help me find and save Wen Ning from their miserable work camps, he realized the conditions that they had the prisoners of war under. There was an altercation, plus an official demand for the amulet, and instead he swept us all away, and here we are. A little village on the run, protected by a man that the sects deem an ‘unstable madman’.  He even cut ties with his brother, and the YunmengJiang sect.”

When Lan Wangji’s eyes return to the papers, he realizes that they’re slightly blurry, and he blinks away the tears.

“It’s the least I can do for him, to help keep him sane,” Wen Qing continues, her voice subdued. “But I am struggling. While my physical remedies are effective, helping to keep his body from being in too much pain, it’s his mind I can’t seem to reach.”

“That is where you hoped I would help.”

“Yes. I know there’s a low chance given his… situation, but we have to try.”

Her methods are sound, he observes, looking at the details. However, she is right- none of these techniques would work on the mind the way Cleansing, Clarity or Rest might.

“I do have some potential remedies,” he begins, causing Wen Qing to pause in her ministrations. “However, I fear that Wei Ying will not be amenable to me using them.”

Spinning around, Wen Qing flexes her fingers, three shining needles pointing from them.

“He’ll try them if I have anything to say about it,” she hisses fiercely, causing Lan Wangji to lower his head in resignation. He tells her about his guqin, and the healing music that focuses on meditation and cultivation. Her expression darkens when he mentions the necessity of keeping one’s core clear of resentment, and his fears about Wei Wuxian’s powers, but she still nods along.

They are interrupted by Wen Ning, who comes to alert them to lunch. Though he has shown that he can walk on his own, Wen Ning still lingers around him, kindly making sure he doesn’t fall. His existence still confounds Lan Wangji- an undead man, with enough inhuman strength to help haul the Burial Mounds out of the water, one of the fabled soldiers that Wei Wuxian resurrected. Yet, he’s calm, quiet, and obsequious to a fault. It is clear that he adores and looks up to Wei Wuxian and loves his family.

A-Yuan toddles up to Lan Wangji when he sits, plopping into his lap with a large smile. Other than Wei Wuxian, A-Yuan is the only one that’s managed to pull a smile from the usually stern man. Despite his demeanor, A-Yuan clearly remembers the fun day they had at the beach, and Lan Wangji had become one of his favorite people immediately. It had taken everything not to visibly melt when A-Yuan slipped, calling him ‘Diedie’ in conversation. Wei Wuxian had teased him, commenting on how red his ears had been, but he seemed pleased regardless.

“Diedie! Look, I have a ribbon too!” A small red ribbon was wrapped around his head, and he showed it off proudly to Lan Wangji. “Xian-gege gave me one when I said I wanted to be just like you today!”

Lan Wangji nods with all seriousness. “It is crooked.”

With a small gasp, A-Yuan goes to fix the ribbon until it is in place, and when Lan Wangji gives him his approval, he giggles delightedly.

“When will we go back to the water?”

“A-Yuan! Stop bothering Lan Zhan with these questions, I told you we’ll go back when he feels comfortable!” With a grand sweep, Wei Wuxian pulls A-Yuan from Lan Wangji’s lap, playfully ruffling his hair until the forehead ribbon is crooked again. There’s a warm feeling filling Lan Wangji’s heart as he watches, not realizing how much he wanted this until he saw it.

“Xian-gege! My ribbon!”

“Oh! I’m sorry, let me fix it.”

“No! I’m only supposed to fix it, you said so!” With a frown, A-Yuan straightens out his forehead ribbon, and begins to push from Wei Wuxian’s arms. Once he’s put down, he dashes back to Lan Wangji’s lap and sits firmly, wrapping one of Lan Wangji’s arms around him.

Rolling his eyes, Wei Wuxian plops down next to Lan Wangji, and Lan Wangji scans him for any issues. His exhaustion is clear, but there is only humor in his eyes when he smiles.

“So, Lan Zhan- the ship is almost completely fixed, and we should be ready to go in two days. Tomorrow I wanted to take you and A-Yuan into town, show you around before we ship out. Do you think you’re up to it?”

“En.”

“Great!”

The small bowls of soup are placed in front of them, including a small bowl for A-Yuan, and he excitedly begins to eat. Wei Wuxian goes to open his mouth, but after a pointed look from Lan Wangji, he pouts and quietly eats the soup. The same way he has begun to learn the Wen refugees’ habits, they have begun to pick up on his, including making sure that if they share a table with him, they have to eat silently. Because of this, no one usually sits with him other than A-Yuan and Wei Wuxian, who eats quickly enough that he can begin talking soon after. Though everyone still treats him with cordiality, as if he is a high gentleman, they have also begun to genuinely respect him as a person, and he appreciates that. He respects them in turn, specifically how a group of mountainous farmers and healers managed to learn the skillsets required to rebuild ships, properly navigate, and adapt to any terrain so quickly.

“With everything we have survived so far, when given this opportunity, we took it,” Granny Wen once told him. “Wei-gongzi has sacrificed much for us to be here, it is the least we can do to carry our own weight.”

Looking at A-Yuan and Wei Wuxian now, as they ignore his rules and tease each other, he realizes that the community here has offered him a more intimate sort of family that he’s not experienced in the Cloud Recesses. More than anything he’d ever had in that underwater cavern, he treasures this, and will do anything to protect it.

“A double-tipped spear, Lan Zhan?”

Wei Wuxian gives him an astonished look as they make their way through the town, his cheeks puffed out from the steaming spicy bun he’s eating. He’d offered Lan Wangji one bite, and it scalded his throat so badly he never wanted to eat spice again.

“En.”

“Why?”

“To protect Wei Ying, A-Yuan and the refugees.”

At his name, A-Yuan perks up, dancing his butterfly toy in between the two of them. Lan Wangji takes his free hand, waiting as Wei Wuxian ponders it, grimacing.

“Lan Zhan, we don’t exactly have silver spear money. Whatever I get, it certainly won’t be as good as your spiritual weapon. If you don’t mind me stealing from a couple people, we can make it happen, but…”

“Do not steal.” It was perhaps an egregious request, and Lan Wangji is ready to let it go, determined to figure out how else he can obtain a weapon. He still has his guqin, which should be enough for the moment. They’re momentarily distracted as they enter the depths of the marketplace, people reaching out to Lan Wangji.

“Young man, with the ribbon! You look so very imperial, like a lord- perhaps I might interest you in my fine silks?”

“Beautiful combs? Perhaps you have a young lady that you’d like to gift?”

“Beads? Lovely beads for the lovely man?”

“Would you like a taste of fruit? A sample, just for you!”

It seems that everyone is in awe of the man with the golden eyes and strange blue forehead ribbon, noticing that he is clearly not of the same cloth as the average commoner.

“You’re the most interesting thing they’ve seen around here, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian teases, stepping back for a moment. Flustered, Lan Wangji tries to refuse all of the attention, but it only gets worse when A-Yuan begins to sob, fearful of the crowd squeezing in.

“Diedie!”

The outburst quickly changes public sentiment, people now wondering why he’s not picking up his child, judging his parenting skills ‘despite his beautiful features’, mentioning that he must be a brand-new father. The ruckus is too much for him; he’s not used to this sort of chaos- this would never happen in the organization of the Cloud Recesses.

“All right, all right, move away from the man!” Clearly having enjoyed himself enough, Wei Wuxian waves away the onlookers, sweeping A-Yuan up from Lan Wangji’s leg. “You’ve certainly caused enough trouble today, young man.”

Lan Wangji scoots closer to Wei Wuxian’s side, ready to leave this area and try human civilization another time. Sensing this, Wei Wuxian laughs.

“I have one more place to take you both, but it’s outside of town, if you think you can make it.” His eyes soften. “I know you get tired.”

“I am not tired, just overwhelmed. I can go to one more place.”

An hour later, Lan Wangji is laid out in a small field, surrounded by wild bunnies. It is heavenly.

When Wei Wuxian revealed it to him, it took everything in him not to use his new legs to run. Moving slowly, he sits down, waiting for one to approach him, and when it did, he gasped with delight. They were soft, their noses wet and whiskery like seals- just as he thought! They made an assortment of noises, from snickers to honks, and when he lifted one to hug, it allowed him to do so!

“A-Yuan! Look!” He leads the curious child to a mommy bunny surrounded by babies, and after a few minutes, the mother allows them to gently stroke the tops of their heads. After that, they find a nice spot to sit, and Lan Wangji begins to pile the soft beings on top of A-Yuan, who screams in delight. He can’t help the bright smile on his face at the sight, but he quickly composes himself- to think, the great Hanguang Jun, grinning ear to ear!

After having pet every one that approached, he lay back on the grass to absorb how he was feeling. A-Yuan snuggles up with him, the bunnies piling up around their still bodies. The wind is soft, the temperature warm, and he never wants to move again. Everything is as it should be.

It’s not until he opens his eyes, disoriented by the movement of light in the sky, that he realizes Wei Wuxian is no longer in the field with them, the silence stretching out too thin. He’d relegated himself to the shadows, seemingly focused on something when Lan Wangji and A-Yuan went to play…

“Wei Ying?” Lifting his head, he looks around the small field. Had something happened to him? What if he were hurt, and Lan Wangji had spent his time asleep? Anxious, he slowly gets to his feet, gathering his bearings before lifting A-Yuan.

“Wei Ying? Wei Ying?”

“I’m here, I’m here!”

His heart manages to slow a little when Wei Wuxian walks out from the darkness of the woods, a large package on his back.

“Sor- I mean, I just had to go back for something, and you both looked so happy, so I left you here to rest. I’m all right, Lan Zhan, stop fawning over me. Are you ready to go?”

“En. What is on your back?”

Nonchalantly, Wei Wuxian pulls the long package down. “Trade me. I’ll take A-Yuan, you take this.”

The moment Lan Wangji holds the package, it’s clear what is inside. Carefully, he reveals the double-tipped spear, stepping away from Wei Wuxian to observe it more closely. The wood needs cleaning and treatment, and the blades sharpening, but with work, it will serve well as a weapon.

“Where did you find this? I thought-”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, trying to hide his delight at Lan Wangji’s surprise.

“I went down to the coast, struck a couple deals, cashed in some debts, threatened to wring a couple necks, and here you are! It’s the best I could manage on such short notice.”

“I love it.”

Jaw dropping, Wei Wuxian stutters a little before turning pink, moving a little closer. “You don’t have to lie, Lan Zhan. It’s not that great.”

Why do you act this way? Lan Wangji wonders. Bold in the face of an enemy, but kindness makes you nervous.

“I am not lying. The weapon becomes great in the hands of the user, and I will make sure your gift is well cared for. I appreciate it, Wei Ying.”

Lan Wangji is so grateful to Wei Wuxian. Despite every hardship, for a very long time, Wei Wuxian has made sure to accommodate for him, to share with him, and- if he’s being honest with himself- everything has only made him fall more deeply in love with him. He hates that Wei Wuxian can be so brave in the face of adversity, but waver with common decency. Lan Wangji wants him to feel appreciated- wants him to accept his affection in all ways.

They’ve drifted closer and closer until they’re only a couple inches apart, and when Wei Wuxian’s eyes flicker down to his lips, Lan Wangji automatically tilts his head in. Wei Wuxian lifts his head, eyes closing, and-

“Xian-gege? Diedie?”

With a gasp, they pull apart. A-Yuan is befuddled, looking in between both of them.

“It’s okay, A-Yuan. We’re heading home now.” Despite his embarrassment, Wei Wuxian still walks at a regular pace, allowing a flustered Lan Wangji to catch up and walk at his side. Neither of them mentions the moment again.

Being aboard the Burial Mounds when it takes off is strange, to say the least. No one else seems to be bothered by the rocking, and Lan Wangji wouldn’t call himself seasick- he’s Mer, of course not- but it is not nearly as smooth as swimming with the currents. Still, there is a beauty and a freedom to it all, feelings that he remembers his Niang waxing fondly about when he was little.

Thinking of her makes him think of his brother, and guilt settles in his stomach once again. Though he does not regret leaving the Cloud Recesses, he does regret leaving Lan Xichen behind, with no answers or guidance on how to find him. He’d been so distraught, so upset at the situation that he didn’t even bother to explain. But how could he? How could he explain that despite the simple, quiet, and unparalleled beauty of a world that the Cloud Recesses offered, he’d chosen this? How could he explain that though he missed swimming, missed the power of the beautiful tail that he’d given up, he’d chosen to follow love?

Worst of all, how could he explain that his forbidden love for this human was seemingly worth enough to leave his own brother behind? Because he loved Lan Xichen. When their mother died, when their father couldn’t be bothered to raise them, and when their uncle was too stern, a young Lan Wangji cried in his brother’s patient arms. Whenever he needed help, or guidance, Lan Xichen offered a gentle hand, and gentle smile, always encouraging him. When did the gap between them arise? Was it when Lan Wangji didn’t tell him the truth about the cavern? Was it when he felt Lan Xichen began taking on more responsibilities as Sect Leader during the war, pulling away to be what the GusuLan needed him to be- and not just Wangji?

How childish, he chides himself. Whatever the reason, their relationship is over for the foreseeable future. Lan Xichen would choose his sect, would choose duty, over their relationship. That was the way of law in the Cloud Recesses- the way things needed to be, so that people like his father or Lan Wangji himself couldn’t disrupt the peace.

“Lift me up, Diedie!”

A-Yuan’s childish voice cuts through his reverie, and with a gentle smile, Lan Wangji tries to shake off his dark thoughts, lifting A-Yuan for a small cuddle. If a little extra emotion went into the gesture, it was fine.

Lan Xichen lays back in his bed, the usually comfortable seaweed bedding not doing anything to assuage his thoughts tonight.

He hasn’t slept well in over a week, not since he entered the turned-over Jingshi to find his brother vanished.

In a panic, he searched through the home, wondering where he could have hidden or escaped, or if he at least left a note. Nothing. It was only a flash of light when he pulled down the dark coverings that drew his eye to the slightly askew table, and the tunnel underneath it.

‘Wangji, were you truly so miserable and your Xiongzhang didn’t see?’ he lamented. His fears are only confirmed when two disciples are taken to the infirmary, having been incapacitated by an ‘unknown attacker’.

Every night he sifts through his mind, wondering where he could have gone wrong, and the one memory that stands out to him is the day in the library, where he caught Lan Wangji poring through the books in the forbidden section. He’d only been trying to tell him the truth, but offer encouragement, nonetheless. He can see now that his words may have been taken as reason to shut down, to not speak to his older brother. That feeling must have been compounded after their uncle had his cave of treasures- a cavern that Lan Wangji held close to his heart, that reminded him of their mother- destroyed at his official command.

And now, Lan Wangji is gone, and if the twisting feeling in Lan Xichen’s gut is right, he’s made a terrible choice that he might not be able to take back.

For the first few weeks, almost every second of every day on the ship is spent learning to clean, cook, and perform basic maintenance. When he has free time, Lan Wangji studies everything he can in Wei Wuxian’s small office and makes medicines alongside Wen Qing. Early in the morning, while the sun begins to trickle a pinkish-orange hue over into the night sky, Wen Ning and the night-shift sailors can hear the sharp whistling sounds of a spear whipping through the air.

To his delight, Lan Wangji had discovered that without the drag of the water, his movement with his weapon was that much faster, his control that much more precise. Because it is early morning, there’s no one around to worry about harming, and he takes the opportunity to work on how to use his new feet to propel himself. In the beginning, his balance was poor and his stances awful, which frustrated him to no end. Wen Ning, who never slept and always watched with a sharp gaze, kindly showed him ways to exercise to build these techniques.

“Most people don’t learn balance on a constantly moving ship, Lan er-gongzi, so I imagine it would be more difficult.”

The observation was astute, and after a few mornings fumbling, Lan Wangji had learned to take the constant movement to his advantage, combining his experience with constant reorientation from swimming and the lack of solid footing to flit from space to space, hardly ever keeping his feet on the ground. The sailors watching often marveled at his practice, saying it looked like he was floating. Constant training mixed with hauling the heavier things around the ship, and soon Lan Wangji was confident in his strength, his stride, and his place onboard. Despite the mundaneness of it all, he had to admit that he never thought he’d find it so… peaceful. The hard work made the exhaustion and the rest worth it every night, the meditation and cultivation a natural byproduct of focusing on his work, versus something that had to be implemented.

Wei Wuxian certainly learns to stop fretting about him, though he strangely sticks around Lan Wangji (and on deck) more than ever. At the moment, they both lean on the edge of the ship, A-Yuan playing on the nearby steps. It makes Lan Wangji happy to see some warmth in Wei Wuxian’s expression, the way the sun gives some color to his skin. It’s a fierce sort of freedom; while they’ve traded security and identity for safety, this world is still his and he holds it tight.

“Maybe if we’re lucky, there won’t be any sea monsters today,” Wei Wuxian teases. “Though, I must say, seeing Hanguang Jun in action is always worth the ringing in my ears.”

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t chosen to show off a little bit when they had come across a furious sea monster a month into their journey. While Wei Wuxian held the massive beast in check with multiple quick trills on Chenqing, surrounding both the beast and the ship with resentful energy, Lan Wangji had managed to retrieve his guqin, intending on a couple languid notes to stun the beast. However, the notes were much clearer in the air, the soundwave’s raw power shocking. Taking advantage, he powered through to strike with his new spear, leaping at it with a blast of energy. In moments, the beast had been quickly subdued, its spirit released with a couple bars of Rest.

While the onlookers and Wei Wuxian stared at him in a dazed awe, some holding their ears, Lan Wangji could only feel melancholic. The GusuLan Mer would find this carcass and know that someone used Lan cultivation to handle it. They would know that he had potentially been near; perhaps even his brother would be on that search. He was tossed from his contemplation when a furious Wen Qing smacked him in the back of the head- the only one bold enough to do such a thing.

“You said your guqin was for healing!” she hissed. “Are you trying to give my people permanent hearing damage?”

Sheepish, Lan Wangji bows his head. “I apologize. I will play more softly. I can play healing songs as well to soothe the pain.”

Seething, Wen Qing had managed to school her expression, then nodded, gathering everyone who’d been on deck and felt the shockwave. After checking, and luckily finding no severe injuries or pain, she allowed Lan Wangji to begin, and after the second (delicately played) song, he found that most of the refugees had been lulled to a restful sleep. After that, they seemed to trust him and his methods.

“Wei Ying doesn’t seem to like my guqin playing any other time,” Lan Wangji comments offhandedly, leading Wei Wuxian to gasp dramatically.

“I would never dislike Hanguang Jun’s playing! I just don’t prefer it when you play while Wen Qing tries to stick me full of needles like a pin cushion.”

“It’s for your health, Wei Ying.”

Rolling his eyes, Wei Wuxian leans back onto the railing. After seeing good responses from the healing with the refugees, Wen Qing had begun implementing Lan Wangji’s playing along with her treatments for Wei Wuxian whenever his resentful power seemed to become overwhelming. They would shut up inside his small, messy cabin, forcing him to meditate while listening.

“You don’t have to worry about my health, Lan Zhan. I promise I’m okay.”

Despite his nonchalance, Lan Wangji can see the fatigue lingering in the forced expression. When he reaches forward, Wei Wuxian flinches away, immediately wary. Realizing what he’s done, he laughs awkwardly.

“Sorry, you scared me there.”

Before Lan Wangji can question him, a call comes from the top of the sails.

“YunmengJiang ship, straight ahead!”

Stiffening further, Wei Wuxian quickly moves past Lan Wangji, up to the front of the ship and out to the ropes. Pulling out a spyglass, he looks toward where the ship approaches and flinches, before his shoulders sag, resentment pouring from him and surrounding the outer rim of the ship.

“Jiang Cheng. Because of course it is.” Replacing the spyglass, he comes back to the stairs, the refugees all staring at him in anticipation.

“It’s Sect Leader Jiang’s ship,” he announces. “Keep working as usual, try to avoid the main deck. We’ll be all right.”

Despite his calm tone, Lan Wangji can see the immediate shift in mood. The refugees that were sewing, cleaning, or working above decks all begin to move below. He even sees Granny take A-Yuan with her, babbling unaware as he plays with his toys. Soon, the only people left are the middle-aged men sailing the ship, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian, and himself, which is just as well, as the ship wielding the YunmengJiang insignia stops within jumping distance right then.

A gangplank boldly lands on the edge of the Burial Mounds, and a large, scowling man in regal purple gowns confidently strides across it- despite the new stress lines around his eyes, he recognizes Jiang Cheng. On his hand, purple sparks snap threateningly, and Lan Wangji tenses further when he locks fierce eyes with Wei Wuxian, tipping his chin up.

“Hmph. So, are we going to talk, or are we going to stand out here with your entourage?”

Closing his eyes momentarily, Wei Wuxian squares his shoulders.

“Naturally, shidi- I mean, Sect Leader Jiang. We can speak in my room, if you’re willing to rein in that temper in front of these good people beforehand.”

When Wei Wuxian blithely turns his back, something in Jiang Cheng’s eyes changes, a sort of affront lighting them, and the weapon on his hand lengthens. When he raises it, Lan Wangji moves without thinking. Before Jiang Cheng can even think to lower his arm, Lan Wangji has easily knocked away the two disciples that arrived beside Jiang Cheng. Expression torn between impressed, terrified, and furious, Jiang Cheng leaps away, taking a chance to swing the whip at Lan Wangji. Utilizing a little spiritual energy to handle the blow, Lan Wangji uses the momentum from the whip to spin closer to him, crashing their forearms together. It’s just enough time for each of them to size the other up, leveling a withering glare at each other.

“Are you another puppet of his?” Jiang Cheng grits, scowling when the blue aura slowly begins to overpower his purple.

Lan Wangji’s lack of interest in a response infuriates him further, and when that frustration makes him falter, it leaves Lan Wangji just enough of an opening to place the edge of his spear right at the sect leader’s jugular.

“Lower your weapon, Sect Leader.” The threat is spoken quietly but reverberates a raw fear through all listeners.

“Who-”

“Lan Zhan! Back up!”

Wei Wuxian jumps between them, the moment broken as he looks back and forth sharply. Jiang Cheng rubs his neck, almost childishly pouting at Wei Wuxian as he stands further in his path.

“Who the hell is this shameless bastard, Wei Wuxian? Does he truly realize he’s just attacked a sect leader? Who does he think he is?”

Even Wen Ning hadn’t jumped in, which keys Lan Wangji into the fact that perhaps there was a social cue he’d missed between the two- some sort of aggressive posturing that he’d interrupted. Still, he could have never been so disrespectful to his older brother. He stands firm, protective behind a flustered Wei Wuxian.

“This is Hanguang Jun, Lan Wangji. He’s brother to a sect leader himself, so show proper respect, Jiang Cheng!”

“Hanguang Jun? Sect leader from where? I’ve never heard anything about a ‘Lan’ sect!” Looking Lan Wangji up and down, Jiang Cheng cannot deny that unlike his slouch of a brother, there is something infuriatingly imperial about the man and the way he carries himself- and his foot and bladework were not amateur by any level. When he wracks his brain trying to figure out where he’s heard the name, he turns to Wei Wuxian, pointing an accusatory finger.

“Wait- Lan? As in, Jin Ru-”

“Aha! Jiang Cheng! My room! Now!”

With one final glare to Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng follows Wei Wuxian below decks, the doors slamming behind them. More Jiang cultivators stand guard in front of the doors, though their confidence is clearly shaken- no longer is the ‘Ghost General’ their only fearsome adversary allied with the Yiling Patriarch.

For an hour, they don’t come out, leaving Wen Ning and Lan Wangji to both take watch from different angles on the ship, Wen Qing simply reading her book while waiting, needles tensed between her fingers. Finally, both men reemerge, softer expressions on their faces.

“Thanks, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says, nudging the other. “You didn’t have to come out in person to let me know. I suppose thanks to the peacock, too, for convincing Jin Guangshan for letting me come back.”

Jiang Cheng’s minute smile immediately morphs into a scowl with Lan Wangji’s approaching shadow, and he scoffs.

“Whatever. It’s not like I was excited. It’s Jiejie who really wants you there.” Before he disembarks, Jiang Cheng takes one more judgmental look at Lan Wangji, who takes his place firmly by Wei Wuxian’s right side as if it were always his place.

“I don’t know who you think you are, or what you mean to my br- to Wei Wuxian, but you watch yourself, Lan Wangji.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

With that scathing comment, Jiang Cheng leaps from the ship, the water rocking it as the YunmengJiang ship departs. Wei Wuxian tensely watches it leave until it no longer remains on the horizon before relaxing, removing the resentful energy from around the ship.

“Lan Zhan, if you don’t mind playing Cleansing, please. Just in case.” His voice, now that his brother is gone, is tired but not unhappy. Lan Wangji retrieves the guqin, playing the song a couple of times to clear the air of lingering resentment. It reminds him of something.

“Sect Leader Jiang’s cultivation is similar to yours.”

Wei Wuxian’s expression blanches for a moment, but he schools it quickly before turning to Lan Wangji.

“Why is that, Lan Zhan?” he asks nonchalantly.

“Perhaps it is because you trained together- your cultivation is very similar, so perhaps it lends to the familiarity in your cores. My brother and mine are very similar as well.”

“Ha ha…yeah. That’s it. Madame Yu was notorious for her extreme training.” His voice trails off. “That’s what it is.”

After a few concerning moments, Wei Wuxian perks back up.

“Anyway! My Shijie and her peacock of a husband, Jin Zixuan, have invited me to Jin Rulan’s first year party!”

“Jin… Rulan?”

“My nephew! I… uh… I’m sure you noticed that earlier. But moving on from that! I’ll have to make him something and find something nice to wear! Head back to shore! I have so much to prepare!”

When Wei Wuxian begins to scurry around in his excitement, Lan Wangji slips a small smile.

Preparing for Jin Rulan’s first year party turns out to be much more of a hassle than Wei Wuxian anticipated. On their way back to shore, there had been a couple resentful sea beasts to fight, the addition of a strong storm only draining Wei Wuxian’s strength further as both he and Lan Wangji used talismans to sturdy and protect the ship throughout. Landing on shore was dangerous, the only places in sight during the storm an extremely rocky shoreline, and so they’d had to travel even further up the coast toward the border of Yiling and Jin territory to find a stretch of unclaimed sand. The idea of having to stay in Jin territory had made Wei Wuxian even more nervous, his irritation compounding his fatigue when they finally landed several exhausting hours later. This culminated in a worse situation when they went out to scope the lands and discovered a horde of fierce corpses lingering in the space. Wei Wuxian’s killing intent had immediately begun to flare, Wen Ning responding in kind by going berserk on every single one of the corpses in the space- Lan Wangji hadn’t even had the chance to pull his weapon. It was the first time he’d ever seen the extent of Wen Ning’s terrifying power, and just how vulnerable Wei Wuxian has become to his own demonic cultivation.

As soon as the tents are set up and the refugees are beginning to settle in, Lan Wangji rushes after a furious Wei Wuxian deep into the forest.

“Wei Ying,” he pleads, trying to keep up with him. “Wei Ying! Where are you going?”

“I have to do reconnaissance! Someone has to keep everyone safe. Wen Ning would normally be helping me, but he’s cleaning up back there, so I have to do it alone.”

“You are not alone.”

“Well, if you want to be helpful, go… the other direction!”

“Wei Ying-”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian swivels around, resentment curling around his robes, his gleaming red eyes manic. “I…am… fine! I’ve had it with you babying me! What do I have to say to get you to leave me the hell alone! Get lost! Go away! I don’t feel like dealing with you right now!”

A ripple of resentment pulses in the air, and Lan Wangji can see it concentrated in the center of Wei Wuxian’s chest, where he grasps tightly despite himself. His own fear and injury at Wei Wuxian’s sharp words are hard to overcome, but he tries to press further.

“You’re still carrying the Stygian Tiger Amulet, Wei Ying,” he begs. “You’re already upset, and it isn’t helping. You need to rest- I can do the reconnaissance. Let’s just-”

Tossing his hands in the air, Wei Wuxian growls. “You’re not even listening to me! Every time I’m upset, it’s not the fucking amulet! I have feelings too, and right now I want to be left alone!”

“I am listening.” I’m just worried-

“Are you?! Because you’re still here!”

When he whips to storm away, a small shift of the air reveals multiple sharp needles that connect with Wei Wuxian’s body, making him freeze in place, then twitching minutely before collapsing to the ground.

“Fuck…stop it…” he hisses, unable to move his limbs.

Lan Wangji immediately plays a couple notes of Clarity, followed by Rest. A groan of helpless aggravation comes from the ground, before fading into silence as Wei Wuxian relaxes to near sleep.

“It is safe,” Lan Wangji comments, allowing Wen Qing to exit the outer brush.

“He was agitating A-Ning,” she replies, calmly checking Wei Wuxian’s vitals before nodding. “Luckily, we followed you both out here- I knew he’d get like this. A-Ning?”

A placated Wen Ning silently lifts Wei Wuxian over his shoulder and begins to walk back to the camp.

“I thought he was doing better,” Lan Wangji whispers, still demoralized. “He seemed okay this entire time when we were on the ship, and even though the past day has been hard… I don’t understand this relapse.”

“I think it’s a combination of today’s stresses, plus his own worries and traumas. The Jins are not Wei Wuxian’s favorite people- Sect Leader Jin practically wants him, and definitely us, dead. He’s battling between his excitement to see his family and every single one of his worries right now.”

It makes sense- returning to a space full of old traumas and antagonists would leave anyone on edge, and adding Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation can only make things worse for his already tempestuous mood. They make it back to their shared tent, Wen Ning laying a visibly distressed Wei Wuxian onto his pallet. While Wen Qing keeps a cool compress on his head, Lan Wangji runs through his repertoire, watching as Wei Wuxian twitches more before calming down into a deep rest, color returning to his pale face.

“I think that’s enough,” Wen Qing finally comments after an hour or so, standing. “He should rest well.”

She walks over to Lan Wangji, checking his energy levels. “You need to rest too. When he wakes up, make sure he apologizes to you.”

Lan Wangji shakes his head. “He doesn’t need to apologize.”

Wen Qing looks like she fervently disagrees but is uninterested in fighting the battle. Sighing, she just grabs her bag and leaves. After a quick wash in the ocean, Lan Wangji returns to the tent, ready to turn in for the night.

“Lan Zhan…”

Startled, Lan Wangji turns to Wei Wuxian, but the small amount of moonlight reveals Wei Wuxian is still fast asleep.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it… don’t go…”

His expression is twisted with sadness. Gently, Lan Wangji moves closer, softly stroking a knuckle over his cheek.

“No apologies, Wei Ying.” Knowing that Wei Wuxian didn’t mean it is enough to soothe his soul.

Wei Wuxian relaxes into his touch, and his small smile fills Lan Wangji with a temporary contentment- tomorrow was still coming, but for right now, they were safe. He could keep Wei Wuxian safe, right here, in his arms.

When did Wei Wuxian end up in his arms?

No, that wasn’t fair- when did he start holding Wei Wuxian?

Lan Wangji knows it’s not right. Wei Wuxian is asleep, exhausted from an extremely long day. He should roll over to his own pallet, go to sleep, continue to keep his shameless feelings to himself.

Instead, he gently places his lips over Wei Wuxian’s, featherlight. One butterfly kiss turns into another, longer press before he forces himself to pull away, terrified at his own audacity. His flush only spreads further when Wei Wuxian whines, sighing blissfully in his sleep. Horrified at the explosion of happiness and desire he feels, Lan Wangji grabs his spear and escapes, making for the trees in the inner brush.

He can’t waste resources writing out the rules the way instinct demands, but he can certainly take out his frustrations on the trees in the forest until he gets his emotions under control.

Two days before he is to travel, Wei Wuxian nervously pulls Lan Wangji from the rest of the camp. They walk a short distance away, enough to be out of earshot, then Wei Wuxian spins around.

“Would you like to travel with me to Koi Tower?” he rasps, and Lan Wangji raises a brow. He thought it was a given that he would be accompanying Wei Wuxian to the Jin stronghold. Before he can reply, a flustered Wei Wuxian smacks his forehead.

“No, that’s not what I wanted to ask! I wanted to ask you if- if you wanted to come with me somewhere before we go to Koi Tower.”

It isn’t inherently a strange question, but Wei Wuxian’s strange behavior leaves Lan Wangji concerned.

“Of course. Are we travelling for provisions? Will the Wen refugees need something specific?”

With a small exhale, Wei Wuxian’s shoulders relax minutely before he chuckles.

“No, the Wens are fine. This is more for me. There’s something I really wanted to show you, but only you.”

Oh. It’s a humbling, warm feeling that Wei Wuxian was essentially asking to be vulnerable with Lan Wangji, and that the honor only went to him. The pride that burns in his chest quickly turns to shame when he remembers the stolen kisses that night in the tent- he’s already taken what he was never offered.

“Lan Zhan? Are you okay?”

Now the concern is in Wei Wuxian’s tone as he frowns at Lan Wangji, who flinched at the interruption.

His ears are bright red as he replies, “En. Just wondering what there is to discuss.”

A small flush spreads on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “You’ll see when we get there! Now…go… fix that fishing net or whatever it was you were doing!” He’s only stomped a couple of feet away before he seems to realize something, and he turns back around. “We leave this afternoon.”

Bemused, Lan Wangji follows him back. The time leading up to the afternoon is relatively uneventful, other than Wei Wuxian packing up their tent and any provisions that they might need. As he approaches the medical tent, ready to go, he witnesses Wei Wuxian stomp out, his face is almost as red as his ribbon. Behind him follows a devilishly pleased Wen Qing.

“Will you be taking A-Ning?” she asks, gesturing to where Wen Ning stands sheepishly.

“You know I won’t be taking Wen Ning!”

Wen Ning’s posture unwinds- perhaps he was nervous about the location? Were they headed somewhere dangerous?

Wen Qing turns, a smirk turning her lips before she bows. “Hanguang Jun.”

With a yelp, Wei Wuxian spins to face Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan! Don’t worry, we were just leaving. Some people around here are bullies, and we don’t need them!”

Before he can walk away, Wen Qing yanks his ear, and Lan Wangji can admit it’s fairly humorous- the infamous Yiling Patriarch, treated like a recalcitrant schoolboy.

“I’m only keeping you safe. You’ll thank me later.”

“All right, all right!” Waving her hand away, Wei Wuxian smiles ruefully. “I always do, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like this!”

After a couple more well-wishes from other onlookers, they are finally on their way, Wei Wuxian’s mood brightening with each step away from the camp. Though he’s not complaining, Lan Wangji still can’t help but wonder what is so important that they must travel to discuss it. The sun is low in the sky, the shadows more prominent when Wei Wuxian finally pauses in his mindless conversation, holding up a hand.

“I think we’re almost there! I recognize where we are!”

How? Lan Wangji ponders. Perhaps Wei Wuxian was as familiar with the forests as Lan Wangji was with the currents of the ocean, recognizing the different twists and turns as instinctively and unconsciously as if they were his own circulation. That was the only possible way he could have known where they were, the trees all looking the exact same to him as they had since they began walking.

With an inhale, Wei Wuxian clasps his hands together. “Before we go any further, I want to say something in case you change your mind.”

Lan Wangji forces down a grimace at the last words. “Wei Ying, we’ve already come this far.” He regrets his tone when Wei Wuxian visibly deflates.

“That… is fair. I just want to say something before I show you.” Swallowing, he begins. “I want to apologize for what I said before. I know I’m not supposed to apologize, Lan Zhan, don’t look at me like that! It’s just that I’ve been really worried that I’ll mess all of this up, you know? I heard what Wen Qing said, and she’s right. Being here… it’s awful, honestly. Jin Guangshan disgusts me more than anyone, though his nephew Jin Zixun is a close runner up, and both of them want me dead. That wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t have the Wens to worry about, as well as my Shijie and Jiang Cheng to balance. I’ve already alienated myself so much that everything hangs by a guqin-thin string right now, and this might be the only way I can start to fix it all. I’m terrified that I’ll fuck it up again.”

“Still, that’s no reason for me to treat you the way I did. You’ve forgiven me for so much, Lan Zhan, and you’re so much better of a man than I am for it. I don’t know if I would have forgiven me for the things I’ve said and done; you don’t know the half of it. Right now, I’m asking if… if I can have just a little more of your patience and tolerance. No matter how tonight goes.”

Lan Wangji was not a hugger- that was usually reserved for Lan Xichen, who gave the warmest, softest hugs whenever he was so distraught as a child he couldn’t function. So, it surprises even him when his arms reach out, enveloping Wei Wuxian in a deep embrace just long enough for the other man to sniffle before he pulls away.

“Aw, Lan Zhan, you didn’t have to do that.”

“You do not have to carry everything yourself.” Lifting his sleeve, Lan Wangji dries a lone tear that has fallen down Wei Wuxian’s cheek. “You are not alone, Wei Ying. I will always listen to you, always give you the patience, tolerance, and peace that you deserve. I’ll stand in your defense.” It’s disappointingly barebones, not even remotely encompassing the depths of his emotions, but the bashful smile that spreads across Wei Wuxian’s face makes it worth it.

“I know, Lan Zhan. Starting with my shidi, huh?” He laughs as Lan Wangji scowls at the memory. “You really showed out that day, Hanguang Jun. I think it was a fitting introduction for Jiang Cheng- he likes strong opponents. As for my Shijie, you can be much softer. She’s really sweet, the most wonderful person in the world, and she adores me.” The light in his eyes dims a little as he tugs on Lan Wangji’s sleeve. “I wish I could introduce you to her in the finest of silks, Lan Zhan. You are the brother of a sect leader, and an honorable man. You should be presented with the best, and instead you’re stuck with a raving maniac.”

“You are not a raving maniac.”

“The entirety of the sects would disagree.”

The entirety of the sects can challenge me to a duel and lose, Lan Wangji defensively thinks. His indignation must show in his expression because Wei Wuxian laughs quietly one more time before moving forward. A couple minutes later, they arrive at a moss-covered cliff face, Wei Wuxian shaking giddily.

“Are you ready?”

After confirmation, they melt into the greenery, walking through the dark, damp pathway toward a bioluminescent glow at the end. It reminds Lan Wangji of the caves of Gusu; if he closes his eyes, it is almost as if he’s swimming toward his cavern. He’ll open them and see all of the treasures that Niang collected over the years, unbroken and unbothered.

“Oh! Good, keep your eyes closed then- we’re almost there!”

The excited whisper, followed by the tug on his sleeve, pulls him out of his memories, which is just as well- the treasure cavern no longer exists in that way, and neither does his relationship to the Cloud Recesses. There is no point in dwelling on the past. After a couple moments they stop, and he can hear Wei Wuxian’s elated footsteps tapping back and forth.

“Okay- open!”

It’s like entering a new dream when Lan Wangji opens his eyes, his mouth falling slightly ajar. Night has fallen, the moonlight and light of the stars filtering down through the falling petals of the gigantic wisteria tree in the middle. Beside the tree lies a small pond, its moonlit waters entering and exiting through small openings in the high mountain face that surrounds the space, isolating- protecting it- from the outside world. Lightning bugs float around certain spots, to one of which Wei Wuxian excitedly leads him, plucking a flower and shoving it into his hand.

Lan Wangji’s eyes water when he realizes what it is. “Is this-”

“It’s a gentian, Lan Zhan. I told you I’d show you one, one day. What are the odds, right?”

Clusters of gentians spot the small garden amongst other flowers, and Lan Wangji wonders if his mother ever had something like this to cherish before she’d been trapped in the Cloud Recesses. While Wei Wuxian sets up their tent and equipment next to the tree, Lan Wangji wanders in a daze in the ethereal space.

“It’s beautiful, Wei Ying,” he finally chokes out, voice wavering with emotion. “How did you find this?”

Grinning, Wei Wuxian basks in the praise. “Well, last time I was here, Jin Zixun acted a complete asshole in front of me, his sect, other sects, and my sister. She defended me, which was nice, but it was also one of the more humiliating moments of my life. I was so angry that I stormed away from the hunting grounds, wandering away until I got lost.” Running away, is the hidden meaning that Lan Wangji hears. “I was starting to get a little worried until I happened upon this place. I swear I thought I’d been murdered and sent to the afterlife. It’s gorgeous in the daylight, but I’m happy that I could show you what it looks like at night, Lan Zhan- it’s otherworldly. Anyway, I spent time some time out here calming down, and swore that if I ever willingly came back to Lanling, it would be for this. Well, my Shijie, and this.”

Breathless, Wei Wuxian waves his arms as if he could embrace the entire space. It’s the most naturally at peace Lan Wangji has seen him since before the Sunshot Campaign. His hair shimmers in the moonlight, his silver eyes gleaming as if he were a forest spirit, and this were his domain.

“I don’t know how something so wonderful could exist in Lanling, but as far as I know, no one else knows about it- not that there was anyone or any time to tell anybody. But I let myself fantasize, that if there were ever anyone special to me, in that way, this is a secret part of me I’d want to share with them.”

With a small hopeful gasp, Lan Wangji realizes what a now quiet Wei Wuxian is saying.

“Special?” he asks, taking a tentative step forward. Swallowing, Wei Wuxian nods.

“I just thought, you know, it would be nice. To bring you here, I mean. You’re special. I told you I wanted to show you something nice like Lotus Pier, and all I’ve ever shown you have been small towns and rocky coasts and Yiling is absolutely nothing fancy, but-”

He stops suddenly when his cheek is grasped in Lan Wangji’s strong hand, a warm thumb swiping against his lips.

“Am I special… in that way… to you?” Lan Wangji asks him, leaning closer.

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian breathes, answering two questions at once as their lips come together. At first, it’s hesitant, probing- more? The kisses quickly become more desperate; the passion ignited between them consuming any desire to inhale as they breathlessly consume each other. Wei Wuxian is genuinely happy as he curls his arms around Lan Wangji’s waist, and Lan Wangji feels his own lips curl upward in response. Eyes lighting up at the soft expression, Wei Wuxian places a callused hand against his cheek only for a moment, pulling away before Lan Wangji can nuzzle in.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, Hanguang Jun?” he teases gently. “You must not, because if you did, you’d never move away from your own reflection. What else could there be to look upon? What else could match such perfection?”

Flushing bashfully, Lan Wangji cuts his eyes away. “Flattery.”

“Truth! Someone has to wax poetic about you! Lan Zhan, you just- you have no idea. You make me ache for things in ways I’ve never thought possible, and there’s a lot of things I’ve wanted but- not like this.”

Though he can’t express his emotions as elegantly, Lan Wangji understands exactly how Wei Wuxian feels. Every secret moment they shared on the beach, every moment they’ve spent with the refugees, even the hardest moments when Wei Wuxian struggled against him and pushed him away, all Lan Wangji could feel was an overpowering desire to stand with the man, to be by his side, to support and trust and love him. No one in his life has ever understood him like this, ever touched his soul the way Wei Wuxian seems to so easily.

Still, he tries to reciprocate, leaning his forehead against Wei Wuxian’s.

“All I have ever wanted is right here in front of me.”

“Aw, Lan Zhan, now which one of us is the flatterer?”

Before he can move away, Lan Wangji places a large hand on the small of his back, forcing Wei Wuxian to look at him.

“It is true.” Intelligent, witty, caring, principled, a heart full of so much love and passion that it practically overflows into everything he does- Lan Wangji almost feels unworthy to stand in the light of someone so- “Magnificent,” he lauds, watching as Wei Wuxian bites his quivering lips. His silver eyes nervously fill with hope, as if after everything, he was still incapable of receiving love.

“Ah, you think that now, and you’re so good, Lan Zhan. You already forgave me after I hurt you that night with Wen Chao, but then I get moody and behave so foolishly that you and Wen Qing have to sedate me on a regular basis. It can’t be fun to deal with. If you’re not tired of me now, you will get tired, and that scares me so much.”

Even when he imparts his insecurities, Wei Wuxian still manages to smile sadly- the only thing Lan Wangji is tired of is seeing long held sadness and resignation in his expression. He draws him in for another kiss, this time deep and languid, making sure to take his time until Wei Wuxian relaxes in his arms.

“Never. Never will I stop loving you.”

Pouting his lips coquettishly, Wei Wuxian looks from under his lashes. “How long?”

Have I loved you? “Since the lotus pendant.” He’d spent his entire life dreaming of the day he’d see Wei Wuxian again, instinctively following and waiting until he’d finally found him. At the response, Wei Wuxian groans, leaning back dramatically before pulling away.

“That’s it. You’re going to have to take responsibility for this. Take me into that tent, and kiss me the same way you did the first time, and again and again and again-”

“You knew?” This time it’s Lan Wangji who is shamefaced, to which Wei Wuxian belly laughs.

“I really hoped it wasn’t a dream. Every time I thought about it, I thought I might melt, just at the possibility.”

It’s a heady combination- the idea that Wei Wuxian knew about the kiss, that he dwelled upon it often and that it was erotically pleasing to him- and Lan Wangji finds himself intently leaning toward Wei Wuxian once more, releasing a small whine when he moves away.

“One more thing, Lan Zhan- can I ask one more thing?”

“Anything.”

“Can you lock your spiritual energy?”

The request stuns Lan Wangji out of his lustful haze, and Wei Wuxian is quick to explain.

“I just want to feel both of us, skin to skin. No secret efforts to try to give me energy, or heal me, or any of the other ways that you and Wen Qing have been trying to sabotage me lately. No powers, no cultivation, just… us. Please. Promise me.”

It is still a confusing request- Lan Wangji hadn’t any intentions to do what Wei Wuxian was suggesting- but if the action would make him feel more comfortable, he is willing to concede. He performs the proper motions to lock down his energy, watching relief fill Wei Wuxian’s expression. Then, as if filled with a sudden hunger, Wei Wuxian grabs his hand and pulls him toward the tent.

It’s a little awkward as they excitedly yank off the other’s clothing, so ravenous to taste the other that they can’t go a moment without pausing to kiss or touch. Lan Wangji’s hunger slows a little when he finally gets Wei Wuxian’s top layer off, pausing to gently examine the wounds. The long-scarred brand is familiar, but the longer, thin cut that lays low near the soft hairs on his pelvis is new to him. Though his entire body shivers with vulnerability from the exposure, Wei Wuxian allows him to run a slow finger over the scar, heart pounding so much that it’s almost audible in the silence. When they make eye contact, Lan Wangji can see that this is something that Wei Wuxian is not willing to discuss- he’s shown him enough, and it wouldn’t be prudent to ask for more at the moment. Instead, he places a small kiss right over it, satisfied at Wei Wuxian’s mewl as he spasms at the touch.

After the kiss, they both move more slowly, a newer, hotter fire burning between them as they pull off the rest of their layers. Wei Wuxian has seen him naked, but it is a sudden moment of clarity for Lan Wangji that he’s never seen Wei Wuxian naked from the waist down. Wei Wuxian leans back onto the blanket, leaning his head on his hand beguilingly as he observes Lan Wangji take him in. Despite his weight loss, lithe, strong legs lead up to a still lush backside that seems to invite him to cup the cheeks, followed by a solid member that tantalizes him, begging to be touched.

It’s even more sudden- and a bit embarrassing- when he realizes that he doesn’t exactly know what to do. Mer had nether parts for reproducing, of course, but it had never occurred to Lan Wangji that he would want to do that with another Mer. He’d only ever wanted to make love to Wei Wuxian, and his dreams were never specific in the mechanics, just enough to lead him to finish. Out of shame, he’d never sought more information on it- why would he? He never thought they would get to this point; he thought it would just stay a dream.

His revelations must show on his face because Wei Wuxian stifles a giggle. “Lan Zhan, do you want to watch?”

“Watch?”

Thinking, Wei Wuxian pulls out a hand sized vial containing oil, and reaches for Lan Wangji’s hand.

“Surely, you’ve done this part in the Cloud Recesses?”

When Lan Wangji shakes his head, surprise widens Wei Wuxian’s eyes before he nods.

“Wow. Okay. No worries. Come closer! Here- take some oil. Now I want you to take a finger and place it inside me. Gently,” he explains.

Swallowing his nerves, Lan Wangji rubs his fingers together to warm the oil, getting used to the slick sensation. Once Wei Wuxian is on his back, Lan Wangji moves forward, trying to position himself before placing his hand at Wei Wuxian’s cleft. After an encouraging nod, Lan Wangji moves his hand down, slowly entering despite the hiss Wei Wuxian releases and stroking. A couple minutes later, he adds a second finger, watching as Wei Wuxian’s discomfort morphs into pleasure, his hips moving to match the pace Lan Wangji has set. By the time Lan Wangji adds a third finger, Wei Wuxian is writhing on the ground, unable to keep back the small mewls that slip from his mouth.

“You said you’d never done this before,” he accuses, panting. Lan Wangji’s own chest is heaving at this point, his dick uncomfortably swollen.

“I haven’t.”

“Then why are you so good at it?”

“I’m good at reading Wei Ying.”

With a short laugh, Wei Wuxian hauls himself forward, running a couple fingers through some of the leaking oil and some of his leaking pre-come. With a jolt, Lan Wangji gasps as Wei Wuxian wraps that same, sticky hand around him, twisting expertly up and down.

“Well, some of us have to study, Hanguang Jun, and every time I did this, I imagined that it was you.” When Lan Wangji twitches, Wei Wuxian grins. “You liked that? Do you want to hear more?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji pleads, overwhelmed with the searing warmth he feels, the way his legs shake and his toes curl. “Don’t stop.” With every stroke, he feels the delicious pressure build in a way that he could have never hoped to recreate on his own.

“I imagined that my hand was yours, and you were telling me in that serious, sexy voice that I was yours, that how dare I get hurt and damage what was yours.”

A whimper slips from Lan Wangji’s lips, and he grits his teeth to control himself. That self-control immediately falls away when Wei Wuxian begins to kiss him, moving his tongue as languidly as he moved his hand. Just when Lan Wangji feels ready to explode, Wei Wuxian pulls away with a small oh. It’s upsetting, leaving Lan Wangji craving for the touch.

“Actually, Lan Zhan- can you take me out to the pond?”

If it would get Wei Wuxian to touch him again, Lan Wangji would move to pond to him. Still, he scoops Wei Wuxian into his arms, making the man laugh as he clumsily walks him out to the edge of the water. He follows obediently as Wei Wuxian pushes him into a seated position on the grass, the cool water rising to his calves. The chill is quickly replaced when Wei Wuxian straddles him, taking his dick back in hand.

“There was more to the fantasy, Lan Zhan. I wasn’t really sure how it would happen because I didn’t know where your dick was or how it looked, so I just filled in a couple blanks. Anyway, on that small little beach where we always met, I dreamt that I would ride you into the sunset. I wanted to hear your tail slap against the water, to watch as that perfect face creased with pleasure- I could never quite get your face right in those moments.”

His vision is so alluring to Lan Wangji that he can’t help the explicit moan when Wei Wuxian slips on top of him, warmth sucking him in as he bottoms out. When Wei Wuxian goes to speak again, Lan Wangji places a shaking hand over his mouth, still heaving as he tries not to come immediately.

“Shh,” he whispers, bringing himself to heel. After a few moments to cool down, he begins to run his hands over Wei Wuxian’s body, kissing at his nipples, suckling at his collarbone. “Mm. Mine.” He continues his ministrations, learning just what pleases Wei Wuxian as he clutches as Lan Wangji’s back, dragging his nails across his shoulder blades. However, when Wei Wuxian goes to pull at his forehead ribbon, Lan Wangji leans his head away, grabbing his hands and pulling them together.

“Behave,” he scolds, raising an eyebrow when Wei Wuxian tilts his chin up in challenge.

“Make me,” he teases. Without missing a beat, Lan Wangji removes the ribbon himself, making quick work of a knot around a grinning Wei Wuxian’s wrists.

“Oh, so I’m not allowed to touch it, but you can use it to restrain me? How unfair, Lan Zhan!”

“En.”

Rolling his eyes, Wei Wuxian tosses his arms back over Lan Wangji’s head, pulling him closer. “Hold my waist, Lan Zhan. I’ll need your support.”

The moment Lan Wangji grips Wei Wuxian’s waist, the man begins to undulate his hips, slowly, then with an almost worrying urgency. The sound of their grinding is loud, echoing across the space, but it’s soon overshadowed by Wei Wuxian’s exquisite moaning. Lan Wangji watches in rapture, the way he disappears into Wei Wuxian so easily, the way Wei Wuxian claims him and vice versa, the way his dick slaps against his stomach as he moves.

“Make some noise for me Lan Zhan,” he gasps, slick with sweat and effort as he continues to rock. “I need to know you love it.”

When he pulls Lan Wangji in for a filthy kiss, Lan Wangji can’t help the needy pants and sighs that come out, whining, and breathing Wei Ying as if his name were a prayer to the gods. Wei Wuxian’s rocking only becomes more fervent when Lan Wangji’s sighs become growls, leaning back, and wailing his pleasure. Pulling his arms over Lan Wangji’s head, he goes to wrap his hands around his dick, ready to finish, only for Lan Wangji to stop him. When he looks at Lan Wangji in confusion, he receives a possessive glare.

“Do not touch what is not yours.”

With a whine, Wei Wuxian only leaks harder. “Oh, that’s not fair, that’s not fair Lan er-gege, don’t do that to me! You can’t just say things like that!”

“You wanted this.”

“I take it back, it’s too much!”

It’s clear that Wei Wuxian is tense with pleasure, but also fatigued from exertion. Lan Wangji rolls him over, before pulling them back toward the water.

“I imagined things as well.” Their dreams were similar in nature, but in Lan Wangji’s fantasy, he laid Wei Wuxian on the shore, pushing his knees far as possible before finishing. He performs the action, watching as Wei Wuxian’s eyes roll back into his head when Lan Wangji begins to thrust in earnest.

“My name,” he growls, the only words he can manage. When Wei Wuxian doesn’t immediately oblige, still gasping, he delivers an extra punishing thrust, causing Wei Wuxian to scream.

“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan yes Lan Zhan-”

The energy between them heightens, hitting a crescendo when Wei Wuxian comes, crying with joy. Lan Wangji is not far behind, releasing one final growl as he comes before collapsing onto Wei Wuxian’s chest. It’s a few minutes before either of them can speak, Wei Wuxian breaking the silence with a loud yawn.

“Well, Lan er-gege, unless you want to sleep out here, I think we should move inside to the tent, yes?”

“Is Wei Ying tired?”

“A little. Knees are a bit sore. Why?”

When he receives no response, Wei Wuxian lifts his head to see two insatiable golden eyes burning at him, intent unmistakable.

“Lan Zhan!”

“If Wei Ying is tired, we do not have to do more.”

“I-” The intensity momentarily throws Wei Wuxian before he snickers. “Okay, but you’ll do all the work this time!”

With a nod, Lan Wangji lifts him up from the water, carrying a delighted Wei Wuxian back to the tent.

When they return to the camp the next morning, it is clear to all who look upon them that the happy couple is just that- an official couple. The elders greet them, waggling their eyebrows and teasing as they walk back. Though they tease, everyone is also very happy for them.

“It’s the healthiest we’ve seen Wei-gongzi in a long time,” Granny Wen teases, receiving a huff from a flustered Wei Wuxian. Even A-Yuan, who doesn’t quite understand the implications, seems to understand the relationship change.

“Since you married Diedie, Xian-gege, you’re Baba now!”

Both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian flush at this, sharing a small smile before Wei Wuxian sweeps up the elated toddler. “Oh, you sweet child, I’m honored to be your Baba.”

When they make it to the medical tent, Wen Qing confidently strides out, face smug.

“I see you don’t have something to return to me,” she comments.

“I see you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Wei Wuxian mimics, this time avoiding her ear pull.

“Go get set up, and ready for dinner,” Wen Qing commands. “They all prepared something special, since you both will be leaving tomorrow.”

Unfortunately, by the next morning, it’s clear that things will not be going the way they all anticipated. What started off as a seemingly innocuous headache becomes fainting, and soon Lan Wangji is in the medical tent with a cold compress and blankets properly tucked. Wei Wuxian clucks around him, horrified.

“I can’t believe this. I’m toxic, Lan Zhan!”

“It’s not your fault, Wei Ying.”

“It might be,” Wen Qing barbs, whipping together a medicine for Lan Wangji to drink. “I’ll have to pay more attention to his symptoms.”

It’s a testament to Wei Wuxian’s worry that he doesn’t quip back at the cut, instead helping Lan Wangji drink the concoction.

“How am I supposed to introduce you to my Shijie now? If you’re sick, we can’t go!”

Lan Wangji reaches for Wei Wuxian’s hand, squeezing it weakly.

“Go, Wei Ying. See your sister and your nephew. I will be here when you get back; we can always visit another time.”

“Are you sure?”

“En.”

“I can go with you, Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning, who has just entered the larger tent, offers.

After scanning Lan Wangji’s face for any apprehension, and finding none, Wei Wuxian capitulates.

“All right. This time only! Hurry up and get better though- you’ll have to meet her at some point while we’re here!”

“En. I will. Be safe,” Lan Wangji says before closing his eyes.